Forgotten But Foreseen
by MyTwiDreams
Summary: Bella travels back in time & meets a human Alice who is tortured by her visions-if you love something set it free, if it returns to you it's yours, if it doesn't, it never was- AU/Bellice
1. Prologue

[Disclaimer] SM owns everything Twilight

[A/N] Hello everybody, this story has been in my head for such a long time and now I'm finally starting to write it down. I don't promise anything concerning updates because you all should know by now how easily my weird mind tends to get distracted.

This story will have two parts. The first one is from Bella's POV, the second one from Alice's. Chapters will be short but many. Hope you'll enjoy.

I suggest watching the trailer I made for this fic to get you into the right mood. Just remove the ()

http(:/)www(.)youtube(.)com/watch?v(=)GazlRWQKHxA

_Prologue_

_I remember how one of her ebony-colored curls used to fall into her forehead all the time no matter how often she used to fix it with pins and other stuff. She was a little bit vain in a cute kind of way – back then._

_To me her hair always was pretty the way it was. Sometimes it's almost as if I can still feel its silkiness on my fingertips although it seems to be such a long time ago since I touched it the last time. _

_Her cheeks used to turn into the most magnificent shade of crimson when I did that, making her face look twice as beautiful as it already was._

_I remind myself that she's still gorgeous; in fact she's absolutely perfect and flawless now. Still, I'm trying my best to keep the memory of her other face in my mind, to memorize the little imperfections, like the little jagged scar on her chin. It's her imperfections I miss the most. _

_Here inside my head is the only place where her human face exists. There are no photos and I'm terribly afraid that I could forget one of the tiny details. _

_The way her brown eyes used to look like or how she licked the skin on her bottom lip all the time when she was nervous._

_She still has this habit and the urge to swirl my own tongue over hers is almost unbearable at some times. But I know that although her mouth looks the same it definitely wouldn't feel the same._

_It wouldn't be warm and soft but cold and hard like marble. Not that this knowledge makes me want to kiss her one tiny bit less._

_The memory of me and her is painful for me, like constantly putting salt on a fresh wound but still I can't stop thinking about it._

_Remembering our time together is all I have left and I hope that somehow, at some point in my life, no matter how short or long it will be it will be enough._

_And so, I try to welcome both the joy and the pain that comes with the memories._

_I have to remember – for she can't._

XOXOXXOX

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	2. Of Apple Scents & Warm Hands

[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Mrs. Stephenie MeyeH

****Of Apple Scents & Warm Hands****

The overwhelmingly aroma of sweet, ripe apples entered my nose when I finally managed to open my eyes, blinking into the light of the lamp above my head. My throat hurt because it was so dry and after a few seconds I had to close my eyes again, unable to ignore the throbbing pain in my head.

Where, in heaven's name, was I? Why couldn't I open my eyes without feeling as if my scull was about to explode.

Someone chewed loudly next to me and that noise was almost unbearable to endure even with my eyes closed. I sighed deeply, starting to massage my temples with my fingertips until the pain finally lessened a tiny bit.

"Are you awake?" someone asked me with a full mouth. "Miss, are you awake? Miss!"

I opened my eyes again, rubbed them for a moment until I got used to the light in the room. Then, slowly I started looking around, realizing that I was laying in some kind of hospital bed. At least I thought it to be one because of the metal grid around the bed frame.

"You woke up, finally. It was so boring here while you were sleeping the entire day."

I turned my head to the right side of the room, capturing the heart-shaped face of the little black-haired girl with the cast around her left arm. She was dressed into a long old-fashioned nightgown that went down to her ankles.

My hand reached for the call button to call for the nurse. Why in heaven's name had they put me on the children's unit of this hospital? I couldn't even handle kids well when I wasn't feeling as if I had been hit by a truck. Damn it, where was the stupid call button?

Then I remembered the events of the last night and my entire body began to tremble with fear.

_James_

_The ballet studio_

_The bite_

_The burning of the venom_

_Numbness_

"Miss, do you want to have an apple too? My mother brought more for me than I can eat all by myself."

She jumped from the bed and sat down on the edge of mine, her tiny mouth curving into a bright smile when she waved with the apple in front of my face.

"Try,"

"Cynthia, please leave the lady alone. She's tired and needs to rest." A woman who resembled her enough to be her mother told her reproachfully when she entered the room, lifting a small hat off of her head.

The little girl frowned and climbed down from my bed to wrap her unharmed arm around the woman's neck.

"Good evening, mother, why didn't you bring Mary Alice with you? She promised to read me a book. It's so boring here and the doctors won't allow me to play in the garden. I know they have one behind the hospital. I can see it from the window."

"Cynthia…,"

"Mother, where is Mary Alice? She promised me. She promised me to come with you today. I'm bored! I'm so bored."

"Be quiet. Your sister won't read to you at all if you keep on being such an annoyingly nuisance. Lie down again and be still. Hasn't your accident with Mr. Randolph's pony taught you a lesson? You could have broken your neck and not just your arm."

"Mother, I begged you not to let her ride." A light, somehow familiar sounding voice whispered. I turned my head and the very moment I saw her face a shrill, almost hysterical sound left my sore throat.

She looked like always and yet she looked nothing like always at all. Her skin was pale but not pale enough. Her brown eyes were neither dark nor light enough however you put it. What in heaven's name had happened to her hair? Gone were the carefully arranged spikes and instead her ebony black hair fell down her shoulders, being hold together with a small lilac colored silk ribbon that exactly matched the old fashioned dress she was wearing.

"Alice, what kind of dress is this? Is this supposed to be a costume for a party?"

Her mouth twitched, exposing a pair of tiny pearly white teeth when her lips curved up into a smile.

"It's from Paris. Not the dress of course, just the design. Mother says it's too extravagant but we didn't have time for me to change again before we had to leave."

"It's completely inappropriate. One can see your ankles when you walk. You are lucky that your father isn't here to see you in this."

"He'll be angry anyway when he comes back home. His business partner will not…,"

"No more of this talking, Mary Alice. You are embarrassing us with this nonsense."

The woman turned to me directly now, her voice overly sweet when she spoke up again.

"I'm sorry about my daughters' behavior. They aren't dealing well with their father being away from home so often right now. My name is Annett Brandon. It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance."

She made Alice offer me her hand and when I touched it her fingers were warm, actually warm.

"Your hands are warm. Why are your hands so warm?"

"Well, I wore gloves and…,"

"That's not what I meant. Why are your hands so warm? They are not supposed to be warm. Where is Carlisle? Where is Edward? Where in heaven's name, am I?"

I gasped for air, feeling the first tears rolling down my cheeks a few seconds later. I was convinced that I was either having a very weird nightmare or had lost the tiny bit of sanity I had left.

"I'll see a doctor and try to get her something to calm down her nerves. She seems to be hysterical."

With that she lifted her little daughter up from the bed, carrying her out of the room to leave me alone with this weird, so human-like Alice.

"Where is Edward? Please Alice, you have to go and bring him here."

"Is this Edward your fiancé? No, that can't be you're not wearing a ring. Is he your secret lover? This would be so romantic."

"Alice, please stop this talking. You know that your brother and I are together…officially. Where is he?"

She sat down on the edge of the small bed, hesitantly reaching out her hand to take mine again. I instantly shrugged back from the contact of her warm skin.

"Don't be afraid. I will not harm you. Why are you so frightened?"

I swallowed hard, wondering how she would react if I told her the truth. You are my vampire boyfriend's adoptive sister who happens to be a vampire too. Oh and in case you didn't know about it yet, vampires are always cold, cold like ice. You don't feel like one what probably means you aren't one what itself is just too weird to grasp it.

Slowly she started circling her fingertip over my wrist. It still felt warm, too warm and I felt myself starting to panic.

"You are in a hospital. Do you want me to telephone your mother for you?"

"My mother is in Florida. Give me your cell, Alice. I'm going to call your brother."

"I don't have a brother and what in heaven's name is a cell supposed to be?"

XOXXOXXOXO

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	3. Of Shared & Untold Secrets

[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] Wow. Just wow. I'm touched beyond words by your amazing response to this story. The only problem is that now I feel so pressured not to mess this up.

****Of Shared & Untold Secrets****

Telling the girl which could see the future that I actually was from the future was impossible. I couldn't tell her, I just couldn't. She would think me crazy and maybe that was exactly what I was. It was just too weird, and I still wasn't completely sure if I wasn't just experiencing something close to a very strange nightmare. Any moment I would wake up again, realizing that I was still back home in my bed in Forks. Edward would be standing in the corner of the room, his mouth curved up into a crooked smile. I would tell him about having dreamed about meeting his adoptive sister as a human and the three of us would laugh about it together in the school cafeteria during our lunch break.

The only problem was everything felt so real to me, too real indeed. I could smell the scent of ripe apples and lilac in the air and feel the amazing warmth of Alice's dainty hand on mine. Dreams, good ones or bad ones were not supposed to be like that. Were they?

Then another thought entered my mind and that one filled me with an almost joyful excitement. Maybe this was just a part of the transformation into a vampire. Maybe I was lying somewhere, my breakable human body slowly changing into that of an immortal. I would be like Alice and Edward when I would wake up again.

James crimson eyes appeared in front of my inner eye when I closed my tired eyes for a moment. My last memory was that of the dirt-blonde vampire sinking his sharp teeth into my wrist. I also remembered the beginning of painful burning, slowly at first but then becoming so unbearable that I had started screaming. After that everything went dark around me.

"Are you afraid?" Alice asked me worriedly, wrapping her arm around my quivering shoulder.

"Yes."

"Can you tell me what frightens you so much? You are not afraid of me, are you?"

I shook my head and swallowed hard to keep me from starting to cry now.

"No, I'm not afraid of you. I could never be afraid of you. I would just prefer not to talk about my fears."

"Is it a secret?" she whispered into my ear, tickling its shell with her warm breath.

"Kind of," If thinking yourself going through some weird vampire venom based on hallucinations count as secrets. Yes, this is one, a big one.

"I know how that is like, you know."

"You know how what is like?"

She sighed deeply, standing up from the bed to flatten the hem of her dress carefully.

"I know how it is to have secrets that you can't tell anyone about. My mother is ashamed that I am so…well so weird…somehow."

"Because you can see things that are going to happen?" I asked her, regretting the words as soon as they left my lips.

"How do you know about this? Has Cynthia told you something? She's the only one who doesn't assume that I'm a bit crazy because of my…day dreams."

"I don't think you are crazy, Alice."

Her lips twitched, finally curving into a shy smile.

"Thank you. That's the nicest thing anyone has ever told me in the last time. I also like the way you're saying my name. Just Alice instead of…,"

"Mary Alice!"

"Yes, Mother?"

"We will take your sister home with us today. It's too expensive to let her stay in the hospital longer and the doctors say it's not absolutely necessary."

A wave of panic flashed through me. How in heaven's name was I supposed to pay the hospital bill? I highly doubted they would accept my health insurance back in…crap, I didn't even know what year I was in right now.

"The Miss looks as if she's going to faint, Mother." Cynthia stated, sitting down on the edge of her bed.

"She's not going to faint. I'd know…,"

"Mary Alice. No more of this psychic talking. I thought your father made that clear to you before he left."

"Yes, Mother. I'm sorry, Mother. But I think that she's so pale right now because she's also worried about the hospital costs."

"Understandable. Are your parents going to come here any time soon to visit you?"

I thought about how far away Renee and Charlie were right now and something cramped sharply around my heart. Here I was all alone, trapped in my delusions that felt so incredibly realistic to me. Maybe it was that way for lunatics all the time.

"My parents are dead." I whispered eventually when I realized that Annett expected me to answer her question.

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear about that."

"I don't know what to do now. I have nowhere to go, nowhere to live and no money at all."

"She could work for us. Couldn't she, Mother? We need a new shop girl anyway."

"I don't know if your father would agree to this. We wouldn't have the need to hire a new employee if you hadn't frightened Louise to death if your constant talking about you-know-what-I-mean."

Human Alice nodded her head, her cheeks reddening into a bright pink color before she tried to hide it by leaning forward pretending to be wiping some invisible dirt from her black shoes.

"I like the Miss. She's also much prettier than Louise was." The little one stated, taking another apple out of the basket to nibble on it.

"We could try it out. For a week, let's say. Then my husband will return from his journey and he will decide whether we will hire you officially or not. Do you have any papers or something?"

I shook my head and sighed deeply.

"But I assure you that I will work good and hard for you."

"Hmm, well, we'll see. I'm sorry though we can't help you with the need for a room. Maybe…,"

"She could stay in my room with me…if she wouldn't mind sharing one bed with me that is."

**XOXOXXOXXXOXOX**

[A/N] Leave me some review love if you feel like it. You know I heart those lots.


	4. Of Friends & Coffins

[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

****Of Friends & Coffins****

Never before had I spent a night in the same room with Alice and realizing that felt strange to me somehow. I had never been a very girly girl; I could barely remember having attended any slumber parties back when I lived with Renee in Arizona. It just never occurred to be important to me. But now here I was, sitting upright in the small metal framed bed, next to an overly chatty human Alice.

"It's so nice to have you here with me. I never had a friend here to stay with me. You will be my friend, won't you?" There was a hint of worry in her light voice that made me cautious.

"I'll be your friend." Your best friend, I added in my head, placing my hand on hers to give it a squeeze.

She gave me a joyful smile and leaned forward to plant a kiss on my cheek.

"You are so nice and kind. I never had a friend before."

"Why?" I asked her back, rubbing the cheek she had kissed with my fingertips. It felt hot against them and that heat seemed to stream through my entire body a heartbeat later.

"Nobody wants to be my friend because I'm too weird. I'm different; people don't like what is different."

I remembered my first day at school in Forks, sitting in the Cafeteria with Jessica and Angela. The comments Jess had made about Alice being really weird. All of the Cullen's tend to keep a distance from humans but none of the others so obviously appeared different. Maybe it was because all the others remembered how it was like to be human. That made it easier for them to pretend, to blend it.

Then there was Alice's excitement on the day Edward had brought me to his house. How she had hugged me, telling me I smelled good, such a completely weird compliment. Edward had been embarrassed about the situation. For the first time ever I grasped that she had said that because she was overly excited, overly nervous…because she had seen me as her friend and she had never had one before. Not even back when she was still human. The thought made my eyes water and she misconstrued that.

"Are you home sick?" she whispered, wrapping her arm around my shoulder to pull me closer until I rolled to my left side, with her cuddling against me from behind.

"I don't really know."

"Or do you miss your fiancé?"

"What fiancé? I'm not engaged. I'm just seventeen years old."

"That makes you a year younger than me and seventeen is not too young to get married."

She rested her head against my shoulder, whispering into my ear.

"Is he very handsome your beau?"

"Edward is very good looking." I mumbled, almost embarrassedly.

"Amazing, that makes me happy for you. Are the two of you going to get married soon?"

"No, of course not, like I said. I am too young to get married. My parents marriage didn't go too well. I want to be sure before I decide on something as serious as that."

Her dainty hand twisted into my hair, combing playfully through its length with her fingertips.

"Your hair is so soft. Will you let me do your hair tomorrow?"

I nodded my head, wondering if tomorrow when I'd wake up I would still be here with her.

XXXX

The whimpering sounds that kept escaping her throat woke me up in the darkness, so I assumed that it was still the middle of the night. When she noticed that I was awake she jumped from the bed, curling up into a ball on the floor, her entire body trembling from head to toe.

"Alice?"

"No…no…no…please don't do that. Oh please! Don't jump! Don't jump!"

I kneeled down next to her on the hard ground, realizing that her skin was covered in cold sweat. I wiped a bit of it from her forehead when I cupped her face between my hands to make her look up to me.

"Look at me. Everything is alright. You are here with me. You are safe. Everything is fine."

She started crying and I pulled her against my chest, trying to comfort her. It hurt me to see her like this, so frightened and broken.

"Do you want to tell me what you saw?"

"I don't know. My parents wouldn't want me to talk about that with anyone. They think me crazy and they are so…so very ashamed of me for being like this. And I…I try so hard, so very hard to suppress those visions. But they keep coming back, worse than ever before."

She sobbed and sniffed, while I continued stroking up and down her back in circling motions until her ragged breathing finally calmed down again.

"You can still tell me, you know. I'm your friend. You can tell me everything."

"I've never seen a vision about someone I don't know in person before. I mean what is the point in seeing something that you can't stop because you don't even know where it is happening."

Slowly I dropped my arms from her shoulder, taking her hand in mine instead, rubbing my thumb over her palm down to her wrist.

"You can't change the things that are going to happen. You just see them before they happen."

"But I want to be able to stop them, well some of them. I wished I could do that."

"What happened in the vision you had now? Tell me what you saw."

"There was a coffin…such a tiny white coffin like those they put infants in and then I saw a woman standing on the top of a cliff. She jumped…she jumped…oh my god. She really jumped."

A dry sob left her mouth, sounding more like a suppressed scream and I helped her to stand up again, making her sit down on the edge of the bed. I pulled the blankets over us and there we stayed next to each other, frozen between present and future or something in between.

**XOXXOXXOXXOXXO**

[A/N] Leave me some review love, if you feel like it. You know I heart those lots


	5. Of Pearls & Promises

[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] Hi everyone,

I apologize for taking so long to update. My work life is keeping me pretty busy at the moment but once everything returns to normal in a few weeks, postings for this story should come more regularly.

About the last chapter—Yes, it was Esme jumping from that cliff Alice saw in her vision. I'm wondering if you'll be able to interpret the next visions as well.

****Of Pearls & Promises****

I sighed deeply, my face turning into a frown when I risked a second look into the mirror in front of me. There was no way I was going to set just one step out of the house dressed like this. The last time my mother had forced me to wear something close as girly as this was for my first day of school. Even back then I had thrown a tantrum. I liked jeans and chucks and sure as hell not those delicate black leather shoes that looked as if some sort of porcelain doll could be wearing them as well.

"You look so pretty. The color blue is lovely against your pale skin." Human Alice complicated me cheerfully while she tried to fix her curly hair with countless pins in an attempt to keep it from falling into her forehead.

"Are you kidding me? I look completely ridiculous. Can't I just wear some trousers and a blouse?"

"If you want everyone to stare at you, you could. But I'm a quite sure my mother wouldn't allow you to work in the shop while being dressed like some sort of suffragette."

"I don't really like wearing dresses though. They make me feel uncomfortable. People will laugh at me."

"I promise you that no one is going to be so rude to laugh about your dress. It's pretty. Trust me, you look absolutely lovely. There is no need to worry about. I don't know why it makes you uncomfortable. You aren't even wearing a corset."

A corset? I have enough trouble functioning properly when I have the full use of my lungs. There is no way, I'm going to put on such an instrument of torture.

"I think I will get used to it." I mumbled, staring down at my hands. Alice wrapped a thin silk ribbon around my hair and her lips curved into a warmhearted smile. She was such a joyful person when she wasn't experiencing one of her visions. What she saw during them seemed to frighten her beyond words and at the same time it made her feel ashamed.

Vampire Alice was not like that, not at all. I had always gotten the impression that she was incredibly proud of her ability to look into the future. I also remembered how close she and Edward had been. The freaks among the freaks, he had called it. Now, I was starting to grasp at least a tiny bit of the meaning of his words.

I followed Alice down the stairs, wondering how something like that embarrassing ruffle dress could ever be considered to be fashionable.

The small jewelry shop was right next to the house of Alice's parents. I had zero clue about pearls or other kind of jewelry but I was convinced that it wouldn't be much different from selling camping equipment at Newton's. At least that's what I hoped for…

"There the two of you are, finally." Alice's mother Annett greeted us when we entered the shop. She looked way too young to have an almost adult daughter but I assumed that it was common in _that_ time to get married and have kids early.

That time, I had learned this morning while brushing my teeth in the tiny bathroom at the end of the corridor was 1920 and I was thankful that electricity and indoor plumbing had already been invented.

"I'm sorry, mother. It took me forever to choose a dress."

And to convince me to wear one as well, I thought, starting to bite my fingernails nervously.

"It's alright, honey. Can you show Bella how everything is handled? I have to prepare something for a very important client. He's giving his wife a pearl necklace for their wedding anniversary. "

"Mr. Astor, isn't it? He's also going to buy some silver bracelet for his secretary when he's going to come here. Maybe we should consider…,"

"Mary Alice, for heaven's sake, no more of this fortune telling, I thought we were clear about that. You have way more fantasy than it is good for you, my dear girl." Annett stated reproachfully but when she placed several pearl necklaces on the counter she also pulled a few simple silver bracelets out of another drawer.

When Alice realized it her lips twitched for a moment, before she turned her attention back to me.

"I let you handle the first costumer that comes in yourself. That will probably be the easiest way to teach you."

I nodded my head and swallowed hard when the door of the shop was pulled open abruptly.

"Good Morning, Sir." I greeted the young man politely while he somehow seemed unable to stop staring at the pretty brunette next to him.

"Morning, Miss. I'm looking for something as pretty as my fiancée here. Do you think that you have anything that could come close to it?"

My mouth stayed in a fake smile while I pulled out some gold medallions and other jewelry pieces. Unfortunately the man's love for his fiancée turned out to be way bigger than his financial possibilities.

I was just about to show the two of them some silver earrings when I heard something crash down on the wooden floor behind me followed by some whimpering sounds coming out of Alice's mouth.

Her face was white like chalk and although I instantly wrapped my arms around her middle to keep her upright she still collapsed on the ground.

"Let her go...oh, please let her go. Let her go. Don't touch her! Don't touch her! Don't touch her!"

Tears started rolling down her cheeks, and I wiped them away with quivering fingertips. Annett was next to me before I could manage to calm Alice down again.

"Let her go!" she sobbed against my shoulder when I pulled her against my chest.

"Stop this nonsense right now, Mary Alice. Nothing is going to happen. You need to learn the difference between reality and a dream."

"But…but they are going to hurt her. They are going to hurt her so much and the one she trusts the most is going to be the worst of them all."

**XOXOXXOXXXOXO**

[A/N] Leave me some review love, if you feel like it. You know I heart those lots.

Enjoy your day & to those of you living in the States—Happy Thanksgiving to you guys!


	6. Of Dead Fish & A First Kiss

[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

****Of Dead Fish & A First Kiss****

Alice's mother apologized over and over again to me, seeming terribly embarrassed about what she called "One of Mary Alice's tantrums." In a way it was starting to make me angry that she refused to even consider the option that her daughter was not making up the visions she had.

She had sent Alice to her room and the entire rest of the day I was worried sick about her, while I tried to concentrate on being overly friendly to the customers that entered the small shop now and then.

I wondered how much more time I was going to spend here in this time and tried desperately to remember anything that Edward and the other Cullen's had mentioned about the transformation. Was it normal to have this sort of time travel experience while the venom was changing the human body into that of a vampire? Everything seemed so incredibly realistic to me, too realistic to be a dream.

Finally the day was over and when I returned to Alice's room, carrying a tray with food with me, I found her sitting in front of her bed with her face buried in her dainty hands.

"Hey…," I whispered, placing the tray on the edge of the bed before I kneeled down next to her. My fingers caressed the silkiness of her black curls but it seemed to take forever until she eventually raised her head to look at me.

"I'm so sorry…I can't tell you how very sorry, I am, Bella."

"Shhh," I mumbled, reaching out my hand to wipe some tears from her face with my fingers. For a split second the tip of my thumb brushed over her lower lip, making me realize that I had never before felt anything as warm and velvety like it. The sensation was so irritating that I quickly pulled back my hand from her face.

"I'm sorry about the…about the vision. I'm trying so very hard to suppress them but it's like they own me and there is nothing I can do to stop them from happening. My mother is angry at me and when my father returns he'll be completely furious."

"Alice, please stop worrying so much about your parents. I will talk to your mother and ask her not to mention the incident to your father. It's not necessary to agitate him without a reason."

She sighed and rested her head against my shoulder while I continued playing with the curls of her hair. It was so pretty and soft…so incredibly soft.

"Are you still going to be my friend, Bella?" she asked me worriedly and I quickly nodded my head.

"I will always be your friend, always. No matter what you see. Never doubt that."

Her mouth curled up into a smile and then she leaned forward and pressed her lips very gently against my left cheekbone.

"You are so nice to me. No one has ever been so nice to me before. Everyone keeps telling me how weird I am."

"You are weird, but not in a bad kind of way."

She stood up from the ground and splashed some water from a porcelain wash bowl on her face before rinsing a cloth in it that she pressed against her reddish eyes for a moment.

"I look ugly now."

"No, you don't. You actually look very pretty. Do you want to eat some of the food now?"

"I'm not hungry at all but maybe I'll have some of it later."

For a moment she starred down at my left hand and I wondered what in heaven's name she was looking for.

"Your beau didn't give you a ring yet? But he's serious with you, isn't he?"

I raised one eyebrow when I saw the worried expression on her face.

"We haven't been together for that long."

"Did you…,well, forget it, it's inappropriate to ask such kind of things..,"

"Ask me what?"

Her cheeks reddened and she starred down at the fabric of her skirt when she sat down on the edge of the bed, making it squeak underneath her.

"Did you let him kiss you on the mouth?"

"Yes,"

"And how was that like? Molly, a girl from my school, let a boy kiss her behind the parish hall after a dance. She said it was if someone had stuck a slimy, dead fish between her lips."

Her little snub nose wrinkled in disgust and I couldn't hold back a chuckle in my throat.

"It's not really like that. At least it's not supposed to be awkward like that. Kissing is quite nice, when you do it with someone you really like."

"Maybe, yes…maybe, no. I'm never going to know how it feels like to get kissed. Who would want to have me anyway? I'm too w…,"

My lips were on hers before she had time to finish the sentence and my heart started to throb so fast in my chest that it made me feel dizzy. It's wrong to do this, I thought and yet I didn't want to pull back, I couldn't pull back. It was so tender and I hesitated when I felt the urge to circle the tip of my tongue over her lips, begging for entrance into the warmth of her mouth. She was my friend, my best friend actually and I didn't want to ruin this friendship for both of us by overstepping lines that were not supposed to be crossed.

"Bella…," she whispered breathlessly when she pulled back from my mouth for a split second.

"Alice…I'm sorry…I don't know what came over me."

She kissed me again, letting her lips flutter over mine so gently that our mouths are barely touching each other. Still, it was enough to make every single cell in my body tingle in a strange, unfamiliar way, making me suddenly realize that from now on maybe her visions won't be the only secret the two of us are going to share with each other.


	7. Of Ribbons & Realizations

[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

****Of Ribbons & Realizations****

We didn't talk about the kiss—or the kisses to be more preciously. Alice seemed terribly embarrassed afterwards and I had to admit that my own feelings about the whole incident came pretty close to that. I had cheated on my boyfriend, with his future adoptive sister on top of it. Jeez, I could only pray that he would still be unable to read my thoughts once I would awake from the transformation.

"And what did you fantasize about during the change?" I pictured him asking me as soon as I would open my hopefully to be butterscotch colored eyes.

As if I could ever tell him, like he would ever understand it. He would most likely flip and blame Alice for what happened between the two of us although I was the one who had kissed her first and not the other way round.

My fingertip circled over the skin on my lower lip again and again while the memory of how it had felt like to have Alice's warm mouth pressed against it managed to warm my cheeks. For a split second her eyes met mine when she reached out her hand to grab another needle out of the sewing kit. She's so very good at doing this and I'm glad because otherwise I would have nothing to wear that fits me properly. Wearing a corset underneath is out of the question though. I have managed to keep the thing on for like two minutes and that have been two very long minutes with very little oxygen. God, were women really so stupid back then to endure this torture?

Annett had gone to the hospital with the little one and that gave us a bit more of alone time. It also increased my desire to kiss her again but I tried to suppress the wish as much as I could. The thing about suppressing something you want very much is that it is never going to work. At least that's how it's like for me.

"Are you angry at me?" Alice asked me, looking up from the dress on her lap. It has way too many ribbons on it for my personal taste but I still like it because she has made it for me and in a way that makes it the prettiest dress in the whole world for me.

"Are you angry at me, Bella?" she repeated her question and I realized that I was supposed to answer her. My voice was trembling when I spoke up.

"No, I'm not, of course, not, why would I be angry at you?"

A low sigh left her throat and when she stood up from the chair she's been sitting on the ribbon covered dress landed carelessly on the ground.

"You haven't even looked at me properly the entire day, that's why I assumed you'd be cross with me."

I took her hand in mine and opened the buttons of her sleeve before I started circling my thumb over her wrist and down to her palm.

"If I look at you I have to think about last night and what I did…,"

"What we did. I kissed you back in case you didn't notice that." He face was glowing while she spoke and I reached out my other hand to caress her cheekbone with my fingertips. She was so incredibly pretty when she blushed. It made her look so…I don't know, alive, somehow.

"I shouldn't have done it. It was a mistake. Can we try to pretend that it never happened?" Can we try pretending that I didn't enjoy it way too much? Can we try pretending that I don't want to do that again with her?

"But it did happen." she stated, placing her hand on mine that was still resting on her cheek. "And it's going to happen again."

My mouth opened and closed a few times before I managed to form a complete sentence again.

"Did you see that in one of your visions?"

"No, I didn't see it. I just feel that it's going to happen again." She whispered, leaning forward so that her lips were just an inch away from mine. Her breath tickled my mouth and I couldn't find the strength in me to not kiss her. She was so soft and kissing her was so tender and light and a lot of other things that I had no name for. Slowly I circled my tongue over her upper lip feeling her tense for a split second when I slipped my tongue between her parted lips to touch it hesitantly against hers. Then she started to flick her tongue against mine, circling around it while our lips moved with each other in a gentle caress. My insides melted and I pulled her closer to me, closer but not close enough.

When she eventually ended the kiss because she needed to gasp for air the cotton material between my legs was damp. What in heaven's name was my body thinking by reacting like this?

Alice stood up from the ground again and cleared her throat nervously.

"I shouldn't like you like this but I can't help it. I love kissing you and you are so very pretty to look upon."

"Please, don't say things like that, Alice. We have to stop with the kisses. It's not good for us to get so close to each other."

"Why? I don't want to stop. It makes me feel good when we kiss."

I nodded my head and swallowed hard because suddenly I felt so very much like crying. I didn't want to stop kissing her and for the first time since I had opened my eyes after the horrible incident in the Ballet studio I kind of hoped that I wouldn't wake up again. Waking up would mean losing Alice, because waking up would mean facing a world where I didn't belong with her and she didn't belong with me.


	8. Of Claws & Confessions

[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] Welcome back my lovely readers & hugs to those of you who leave me such nice reviews. Your feedback means so much to me.

Some of you have asked for longer chapters and I don't want to disappoint anyone but the shortness of the chapters is part of how I want to write this story. I feel more comfortable with writing lots of short chapters than a few long ones that will take me forever between updates. Hope you'll still enjoy reading my little piece of Bellice here.

****Of Claws & Confessions****

Human Alice liked to cuddle with me. That fact was undeniable each night we went to bed. She hugged me tightly and caressed my hair and my forearms with her fingertips while she nuzzled her face against the hollow of my throat. In my previous life no one had been overly affective to me physically and enjoyed having someone being so tender to me. I liked that she never pulled back from our embrace and the way her heartbeat sounded in my ears when I rested my head against her chest. It made me feel secure. It made me feel like being home. It made me feel more than it should.

I was starting to like her _too_ much and I couldn't stop it, no matter how hard I tried to. My feelings for her were irritating me and so were the things she said to me.

"You smell so good to me, Bella." She had whispered before she gently pressed her lips against my skin and my cheeks had warmed because I remembered her vampire-self telling me almost exactly the same words just a few weeks ago. Her perfect marble face had practically been glowing back then and for the first time I wondered if Edward's sort of embarrassed reaction to his sister complimenting me like this had to do with the fact that she didn't mean it as in—she smells like something I'd like to eat. Was it possible that vampire Alice could still sense this…how should I call it? Drawing power between the two of us? No, that couldn't be. Could it? I pictured her together with her honey blonde husband and how he used to place his hand on hers during the long drive to Phoenix. It wasn't an image I enjoyed too much. Damn it, what in heaven's name was wrong with me?

"Can't you sleep?" she asked me tiredly, sitting up in the bed for a moment to rub her eyes. I nodded my head and sighed deeply. Then I rested my head against her dainty shoulder and inhaled the scent of her skin as deeply as possible, realizing that she smelled way better than any perfume someone could create.

She smelled like a bouquet of summer flowers.

She smelled like rain on fresh cut grass.

She smelled like heaven.

"Bella?"

I smiled against her lips before I gently planted a kiss on it. Kissing her was so light and yet it made my insides feel so very heavy at the same moment. She was so tender when her mouth moved with mine and I could hear her gasping for air when I explored its inside with my tongue. God, she even tasted good…

"We have to stop with the kissing." I mumbled when I somehow managed to force myself to break the contact of our lips.

"You have told me that before and then you kissed me again…yesterday and the day before and today and…hopefully you will do it tomorrow as well."

My face warmed and I was sure that it was covered in a bright scarlet color now. She was right and admitting that made me look like a horrible person to myself. Cheating was so low in my eyes and yet I couldn't bring myself to stop kissing and cuddling Alice whenever the two of us were alone for just a few moments.

I didn't want to stop something I enjoyed that much.

"I'm sorry." I whispered, taking her hand in mine to circle my thumb over her wrist.

"About kissing me?"

"No…yes…well, I'm sorrier that I like kissing you so very much." I confessed, staring down at the blankets.

She put the fingers of her other hand under my chin, caressing my jaw and my cheekbones before she gently circled her finger over my mouth.

"I enjoy kissing you too and I don't feel guilty about it although I probably should. No one can ever know how I feel about you, for no one would understand."

A last time, I thought before I softly covered her velvety lips with mine. Just one last kiss and then you'll stop. I kissed her hungrily, like it would make it easier for me to keep away from her if I rewarded myself with the memory of her tongue toying against mine while our connected mouths stiffened the groans building in our throats. My heart started racing in my chest and my head was spinning. God, I loved the way she made me feel.

"I care for you…so very deeply." she whispered breathlessly when we leaned back against the pillows.

I care for you too, I thought, twisting a wisp of her silken curly hair around my fingers. I probably care for you more than I should. I tried to picture Edward's face in front of me and the way his mouth curved into a half smile before he pressed his marble lips against mine. I liked kissing him lots; most likely because of the thrill it gave me to have a vampire so close to me. His razor sharp teeth could break my thin human skin so very easily and then…

"No…. Please, turn around now. Turn around!"

The desperate sound of Alice's voice echoed in my ears and I instantly pulled her closer against my body, realizing that she was trembling all over.

"It's okay, tell me what you saw."

She sniffed and when she spoke up again I could barely hear her whispering in the darkness of her room.

"The claws…oh my god…oh my god. He's dead. He's dead."

I rocked her back and forth in my arms, feeling how her warm tears soaked the cotton fabric of my night gown while I tried to calm her down as good as I could.

"Shhh, everything is going to be fine. Just keep breathing in deeply. It will help you. Sshhh, everything will be fine."

"No, it won't. He's dead. He must be dead. No one survives the attack of a bear."

**XOXOXXOXXO**

[A/N] Those of you, my darlings, who enjoy reading a bit of pointless femslash lemon should check out my new one-shot called **A PreWedding Day Dream**.

Until next time, take care.


	9. Of Pills & Promises

[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

****Of Pills & Promises****

You know that very unpleasant feeling deep down in your stomach when meet someone for the very first time and you instantly know you'll never like that person?

That was exactly how it was like for me when Alice's father showed up the next day. After greeting me briefly and assuring me that he would be fine with me working in the shop, he snarled at his wife and Cynthia before he turned to Alice who was already white like a ghost. I squeezed her hand underneath the table and realized that it was trembling.

"I thought I made my point clear about your craziness, Mary Alice. What part of that was too complicated for your little brain to grasp it? Your mother is too soft-hearted and not capable of dealing with you issues."

She cleared her throat and when her eyes met his he looked away, starring down at the polished leather of his shoes.

"You need to learn the difference between fantasy and reality."

"Yes, father."

"You are saying that now because you are hoping that I will stop talking about it. Don't you, Mary Alice."

"Yes, father."

He sighed deeply and sat down next to her, pulling his chair closer to her before he pulled something out of his pocket.

"This is supposed to help you. Take two, right now. Miss Swan, can you bring her a glass of water so that she can swallow them?"

I nodded my head and when I returned I took one of the small pills in my hand.

"What's that?" I asked him, turning it around on my palm.

"It's medicine that is supposed to help her."

"Will it end my visions?" Alice whispered nervously, biting her lower lip before she took the pill from me again. Her fingers brushed against mine and warmth spread through me for a moment.

"It will help you to relax. At least that's what the doctors promised me. I hope it has some effect. That stuff costs way more than we can afford."

She nodded her head and swallowed first one, then another of the tiny pills with the water.

A few minutes later her face turned slightly green and small pearls of sweat appeared on her forehead. I wrapped my arms around her and guided her outside where she emptied her stomach into a bush of roses that was growing behind her parents' house.

I held her hair and rubbed her back in small circles until the cramps eventually stopped.

"Please, don't look at me now. I bet I look all ugly."

I shook my head and handed her a tissue after rinsing it in barrel filled with rain water. Carefully I wiped her face with a clean cloth and cupped it in my right hand.

"Are you feeling a bit better now?"

"Not really, but the fresh air helps. Can we go for a little walk? I don't want to go back inside and face my parents. Father is not going to be pleased when he finds out the expensive medicine he bought for me made me puke my guts out."

We walked silently next to each other and when we reached the row of old oak trees she took my hand in hers.

"I'm so glad that you came here. My life is so much better since you are a part of it."

We sat down on the grass and she rested her head in my lap, planting a soft kiss on the fabric of my shirt.

"Sometimes they sent people who are like me away."

"What do you mean by people like you? And where do they send them?"

She closed her eyes and I circled a blade of grass over her eyebrows, down to her cheeks and eventually over the tip of her nose. Her face seemed so terribly fragile to me and I couldn't endure the thought of someone hurting her. I just couldn't. It was too painful.

"People that aren't normal…lunatics, I wished so much I could find a way to stop those visions. I hate the things I see. I hate that I can't do anything to prevent the things I see. Oh my god…,"

She started crying and I pulled her closer to me, caressing the curls of her hair with my fingertips while I hummed a lullaby into her ear.

"You shouldn't be ashamed of your visions. They are part of who you are."

"But I want to be normal like anyone else."

I took her hand in mine and planted a kiss on each of her knuckles.

"I don't want you to be normal. I want you to be you."

"Really?"

I nodded my head and leaned down to press my lips against hers in a feather light kiss. Cupping her face between both of my hands I worshipped every single inch of her dear face with my mouth.

"I will not let anything happen to you. I promise that I will always be there for you."

"I promise to never like anyone the way I like you." she whispered, placing her hand gently over mine.

My cheeks reddened and my heart started hammering hectically in my chest. It was making me dizzy and I tried to push the feeling of affection that spread through me aside as much I could. It wasn't working. I liked her too much, more than anyone I had ever liked before. I had never felt this close to another person and it was something that scared me terribly somehow and I started crying because I was so confused.

"Bella? I'm so sorry. I probably shouldn't have said that. It was inappropriate. Please forgive me."

"No, I don't want you to apologize for telling me how you feel about me."

"But you don't feel that same way, do you? I see the guilt in your eyes after we kiss and I don't understand why you are denying yourself something that you obviously enjoy a lot."

"Alice…,"

"I love the way you say my name…just Alice…no Mary added. I never had much of a Mary in me."

"Alice, please. I like you so much…in fact I like you too much but I can't. I have a boyfriend back home and I can't do this to him. He doesn't…,"

"He is not here with you."

"Yes, but…,"

"He is not here with you but I am. Don't you think that is supposed to mean something?"


	10. Of Caresses & Crimson Eyes

[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] Big hugs to those of you, who, left me such lovely reviews on the last chapter. You guys totally made my day. Hope you'll enjoy this new update as well.

****Of Caresses & Crimson Eyes****

I was falling, falling deeper than I had ever assumed it to be possible to fall for another person. My heart raced in my chest whenever I looked at her and when her pouty lips curled up into a smile my insides melted, turning my legs into a boneless mass underneath me.

And it was so easy to fall for her. She was pretty, not just from the outside but from the inside as well. She was kind and caring, her mood always cheerful and light apart from when the visions washed over her. I realized that it was more the fact that she couldn't influence what she saw than the vision itself that scared her.

One morning a small red-haired woman entered the shop and Alice paled as soon as she saw her. I talked to her and showed her several silver bracelets but none of them was affordable to her. She complained loudly over the exorbitant prizes before she left a few minutes later, closing the door behind her with a loud bang.

"Poor woman," Alice whispered as soon as she was out of sight.

"She didn't look that poor to me. Aren't you feeling well? You are still so pale."

"I saw her…I saw her in one of the visions and…," she hesitated for a moment and cleared her throat nervously before she continued. "Do you believe in hell?"

"What? No…yes…I'm not sure about that. I never wasted much time thinking about stuff like that."

"I never believed in hell. It sounded so completely ridiculous to me. Father O'Brian was always angry at me when I told him that as a child. He tried to heal me from my visions by splashing holy water all over my head as a child."

As a child? She had all these visions since she was a little kid?

"Well, to make a long story short, one night I had a vision about the devil and since then I know that there in deed is a hell. I hope I will never get there. It was so frightening."

I placed one arm around her shoulder and pulled her against my chest, my fingertips caressing the small of her back. I wanted so badly to kiss her hair, to kiss all of her face but I knew it was impossible right now. If someone would come into the shop while we were kissing each other that wouldn't exactly please people.

"His eyes were all red…I never thought eyes could be such a crimson color…like blood somehow."

"Mary Alice, stop telling your little horror stories to Miss Swan." Alice's father snarled at her.

I dropped my hands from Alice and took two steps backwards. Then I quickly kneeled down on the floor and pretended to be searching for something down there until my reddened face had returned to its usual ivory color.

"I don't mind her telling me things."'

"So, don't you. Well, maybe it's a good thing Mary Alice has someone who is willing to deal with her issues. She never had much contact with people her own age. They tend to shy away from her. Oh and I have almost given up any kind of hope she'll ever find a suitable husband."

"I'm sorry, father." Her voice sounded lifeless to me and it was something I didn't like at all.

"If that's okay with you, we'd like to go for a little walk. My head is hurting."

We walked out of the shop and she instantly looped her arm through mine, planting a quick kiss on my cheek as soon as we were hidden behind the first row of oak trees. I never liked trees so much for existing…

"Is your head really hurting? I could ask mother to make some aspirin for you."

"No, it's not. That was just a…white lie. I wanted to be alone with you."

She giggled and hugged me from behind, letting her lips flutter over my neck in feather light kisses. I stumbled over a piece of dried wood on the grass and she landed on top of me. Her mouth found mine and when the tip of her tongue slipped between my parted lips warmth spread through my entire body. I pulled her closer, my knee rubbing against her left thigh until she shifted a little higher and a low groaning sound escaped her mouth.

"Am I hurting you?" I whispered worriedly into her ear when I realized that her body had started trembling slightly. I didn't want her to be hurt—ever.

"No, it feels good when you rub against me like that. It makes me all tingly…down there…oh…oh…yes, like this…don't stop."

I rocked my hips back and forth, feeling how the slick moisture between my legs soaked the cotton fabric of my underwear. She moved with me and I reached out my hand to circle it slowly over the small roundness of her bosom, trying to fumble the first buttons of her blouse open. I wanted so much to feel her skin underneath my fingertips, so very much, even if it was just a tiny bit of it.

"Bella…I…I…never felt like this…it's so good…so good." Her lips crashed against mine and I sucked her tongue between my lips while her dainty hands caressed my hips, slowly moving up my sides until she eventually cupped both of my breasts through the organza fabric of my dress. I shivered and moaned into her mouth while she continued stroking me gently. Our hips bucked against each other, up and down and up and down, until the throbbing between my thighs was getting unbearable. My hand moved under her skirt, stroking over her dainty ankles and up her slim thighs, already feeling the damp warmth between them I held my breath. Then something cracked behind us and Alice jumped from my lap. I pulled her against my side and starred to the place behind us, not able to visualize anything there apart from a hint of crimson and when I blinked it was already gone.


	11. Of Love & Lavender

[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] Thanks for the reviews, my lovelies. Your encouraging feedback means a lot to me.

So, this chapter, made me cry while I was writing it. I don't know why. I tend to get too emotional but that just how I am…

****Of Love & Lavender****

While Alice was sleeping peacefully in my arms that night I made up a plan. If I wanted to safe her from the things that were going to happen in her future I needed help and there was only one person I knew that was capable of helping—if Carlisle was willing to help us that was. But how was I supposed to find him without Internet and other modern technology? Damn it, why didn't I pay more attention when Edward told me about where they had lived during the 1920ties? I decided to call every hospital in the whole country until I would find Dr. Cullen. He must have been working in one of them, mustn't he?

And when I'd eventually find him, what in heaven's name was I supposed to tell him?

"Well, Dr. Cullen…ahm, I mean Carlisle; I know you don't know me but I know you…kind of. Well, to make a long story short. I'm from the future and I came back here to safe Alice from being sent to an Asylum for having visions about the future."

Crap, this was never going to work, never. What was I going to do? How much more time did I have here? What was I going to tell Edward when I woke up? Was I ever going to wake up?

I felt Alice shifting next to me and when her warm lips softly touched my hair I sighed deeply.

"You aren't sleeping well." She whispered, her voice sounding tired. "I wonder why that is that way. Are you still homesick?"

I shook my head and out of nowhere I felt the tears running down my cheeks. She kissed them away, one after one while she mumbled something to me that was too low to understand it.

"I don't like seeing you upset like this. Will you tell me why you are so sad?"

She cuddled against my side, lifting the blankets over our heads, covering us underneath them as if it was a tent.

"You know that I care for you. I never thought someone would ever like me…like I am. I never thought someone would understand. I never thought…,"

My mouth against hers silenced her midsentence and her tongue licking over my lower lip made me forget every sort of reasonable thoughts I might have left. All I knew was that I wanted her. That I needed her and maybe some unknown higher power had truly sent me here because Alice, human Alice, needed me here as well.

"The two of you look tired." Alice's father stated reproachfully when we entered the shop a few hours later. He turned to me and his eyes narrowed for a moment.

"Isn't it too much for you when you have to deal with Mary Alice's…issues at nighttime? I could give you the room above the shop in case you wanted that. It's small but at least you'd get some rest there. I'm so very disappointed the pills aren't showing any kind of effect on her."

I didn't want to get a separate room and I sure as hell didn't want him to continue drugging Alice with God knows what kind of crap. She stiffened next to me and I placed my hand gently on her back, rubbing it up and down her spine for a few moments before I spoke up.

"I'm fine with sharing a room with Alice. I wouldn't want to have it any other way. When she gets…a vision…I can try to calm her down before she wakes up the rest of the house, especially the little one."

"Hmm,"

He rubbed his chin thoughtlessly and shrugged his shoulders.

"Whatever. Look, I'm going to close for the rest of the day. My wife and I are going to attend a funeral."

"A funeral," Alice whispered hoarsely, while her breathing increased suddenly as if she had just run up a hill or something like that.

I pulled her outside and for a split second I wondered if she was going to cry now. It didn't happen. She gasped for air and when we returned inside the house a few minutes later she seemed calm again.

"I want to take a bathe." she stated, lifting several huge pots filled with water on the stove. When the water inside them was bubbling she poured them into a wooden tub, adding some oil and jugs with cold water in it. The smoothing scent of lavender filled my nose and I inhaled deeper just to absorb more of it.

"Are you going to stay here with me while I bathe?"

She sounded shy, almost embarrassed and once again my face reddened into that traitorous scarlet color when I thought about seeing her, seeing all of her. My mouth felt very dry and I didn't know whether I should nod my head or not. I wanted to stay, but I didn't want to make her feel uncomfortable.

A smile flashed over her face and then, very slowly she started unbuttoning her dress, exposing first a glimpse of her corset that pressed her already narrow waist even more together. She fumbled with the strings and I lowered my head a split second before that thing landed on the floor followed by her stockings and the cotton fabric of her undies. I heard the water splash over the edge of the tub when she stepped inside of it.

"Please, look at me, Bella." she whispered and her voice was trembling when she spoke.

I raised my head and my eyes met hers. Never breaking the eye contact I moved closer, and when my knees touched against the tub I stopped and risked the first look down at her naked body.

And she was so beautiful.

And she was so vulnerable.

And she was so brave.

And I wanted so much to hold her close and protect her from all the things that were about to come.


	12. Of Villains & Violets

[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] Last update for this year, I hope you are all having a wonderful day and enjoy your New Year's celebrations. Thanks for taking the time to read & review my little stories. Your support means everything to me.

****Of Villains & Violets****

They were going to notice it, that much I was almost a hundred percent sure about. Alice was not very good at covering her emotions and although she made it pretty clear to me that we had to keep what was between us a secret. My heart pounded in my chest and whenever we managed to touch each other for a split second our faces turned red and warm.

"Mary Alice, did you hear anything of the things I just said to you?" Annett asked her, her voice sounding slightly irritated.

"I'm sorry, mother. I was just…,"

"Dreaming, like usual. Dear heaven, when will this nonsense ever stop? Well, however, I just told you that I don't want you and Bella to go out into the woods all by yourself. It's not safe out there."

"Why?" I croaked huskily. Those walks with Alice were something I enjoyed doing a lot because she seemed to relax better when she was outside her parents' reach. She told me about her visions and most of them didn't make much sense to me at all. There was lots of darkness in them. Sometimes she saw herself in the darkness and that vision was extremely frightening for her. It made her tremble and I pulled her closer against me, assuring her that I would never, ever allow for her to be left alone in the darkness.

I wouldn't let that happen.

"I don't want to frighten you unnecessarily, Bella but…," she cleared her throat and continued in a whispering voice. "They assume there is some murderer out there. The poor Mrs. Johnston was found practically drained. At first the police thought her to having been attack by some kind of animal but then they found a pair of human foot prints behind her house. I don't want you to leave the house on your own until they have found and arrested this villain."

I shivered and it had little to do with the temperature in the room. A vampire, I was utterly convinced that the woman had been attacked by a vampire.

Alice face turned white and then she collapsed on the ground next to us. I kneeled down next to her while Annett wrapped her hand around her daughter's wrist in order to check her pulse.

"Mary Alice, please wake up, child. Please…,"

After a few minutes she eventually opened her eyes and the brown of her iris looked glossy as if she was going to cry any moment. Carefully, I helped her up and together with her mother we maneuvered her up to her room to make her lay down on the bed.

"Please, don't tell father, mother." she pleaded nervously while I rinsed a cloth in cold water and pressed it gently against her forehead.

"I have to tell him, kid. Try to rest a bit. I'm going to call a doctor to have a look at you. Bella, can you keep her company until I come back?"

I nodded my head and sat down on the edge of the bed, taking Alice's trembling hand in mine.

"I'll take care of her." I whispered, rubbing circles over her palm.

Annett raised one eyebrow but then she rushed out of the room, making her way to her neighbors' house that was unlike her own equipped with a telephone.

When she was gone I leaned forward and planted a soft kiss on the tip of Alice's nose.

"I couldn't stop it."

"I know, it's not your fault what happened. You just see things…I don't know why it is that way."

"The devil killed her. I saw his eyes, those frightening crimson eyes and I see all the bad things he's going to do."

"You can't stop him." Nobody could stop a vampire…

"Yes, I can. I saw…I him different. Well, I'm not even sure if they are the same person. They look alike…but sometimes, I think, he's another man. Sometimes, I have visions about him where he smiles at me and hands me violets. When that happens his eyes are golden like liquid honey. I don't understand what this is supposed to mean."

I nodded my head and put her hand to my mouth to kiss her dainty knuckles over and over again.

"I wished I could protect you better."

"You don't need to protect me, Bella. I just need you to love me."

Love me? She wanted me to love her? My heart warmed and I felt the tears burning in my eyes when I leaned over and cupped her face in my hands.

"You mean so very much to me."

I kissed her mouth, slowly, hesitantly as if she could break like a fragile piece of glass if I'd be too rough with her. She twisted her hands into my hair in order to pull me closer and when I parted my lips her tongue nudged against mine, tasting and massaging it gently until I felt my insides starting to tingle almost painfully.

"I love the way you make me feel." she murmured against my mouth before she pressed her lips against mine.

"I love you." I whispered back, wrapping my arms around her neck, rubbing my nose over the hollow of her throat. She smelled so very good to me. I wanted to bottle her scent up so that I could carry it with me wherever I would go. And I didn't want to go anywhere without Alice.

"I love you too. I love you so very much. I love you more than anyone or anything…,"

The loud smashing of porcelain on the ground made us pull apart abruptly. Annett's face switched color from pale to dark red and back to pale again before a low growling noise escaped her lips and she crossed the distance between us to slap first me, than her pixie-like daughter right across the face. The pain was so unexpected that I winced but hearing Alice's sobs was hurting me way more than my own pain.

"It's not like you think it is." I stumbled out, unsure whether I should hug Alice now of if that would worsen our situation.

Annett sighed and rubbed her temples, her lips turning into a hard line before she spoke up again.

"I wished…I wished it wouldn't be like that, but I know it is."


	13. Of Faith & Fears

[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] Thanks for all your lovely reviews. Your feedback means a lot to me, so keep them coming…

****Of Faith & Fears****

Annett promised not to tell her husband about what she had discovered about the blossoming relationship between me and her daughter. In return she tried to force Alice to promise her that we would stop with whatever it was that was going on between us, calling it an unforgiveable sin and a lot of other ugly things. Still, no matter how much her mother tried intimate her, Alice refused to deny how she felt about me. She started crying desperately until nothing but dry sobs escaped her mouth. It broke my heart to see her like that and made me feel so incredibly helpless.

Finally, the doctor, an unfriendly grey-haired man, showed up and examined Alice, who answered his questions in a lifeless sounding voice while he continued scrawling notes into a tiny black book mumbling words like Hysteria and Paranoia between his teeth.

Eventually I couldn't endure it any longer and walked down to sit down in the kitchen followed by Annett who tried to ignore me as much as possible. She was angry and at the same time she seemed terribly embarrassed about things. I felt my hands starting to sweat because the awkward situation was making me shitty nervous but then I inhaled deeply through my nose and spoke up, trying to keep my voice calm.

"Look, I understand the situation is difficult for you and I assure you that it's not much easier for Alice and me, but she means a lot to me and I want nothing more than to see her happy."

"Do you think I don't want her to be happy? She is my child and I love her… But my Mary Alice is a tortured soul. Even when she was a little child she used to have these…hysteric fits. We prayed so much for them to stop but they didn't. I don't know what to do anymore. Maybe this is God's way of punishing all of us for our sins. And now you have come along and have made her all confused in the head. Being in love with each other? What kind of nonsense is this supposed to be? She is weak and you are taking advantage of that."

"Firstly, I would never, ever do anything against her will. She's way too precious to me to hurt her like that. Secondly, so, you think her visions to be a punishment? I think they're a gift. They are part of who she is and one day…one day she'll be proud of them. I know she doesn't feel that way right now and I assume that's partly because of the way you and her father make her feel like she were some sort of freak for it."

Annett sighed deeply pulling a small leaflet out of her apron and handed it to me. I only read the first line and instantly red hot anger spread through me.

"Electro Shock Therapy? Are you crazy? How, can you even consider doing something like this to her?"

"It's the only option we have left."

"Torturing her in not an option," I snarled at her before I ripped the leaflet into dozens of tiny pieces. Then I rushed back into Alice's room where the doctor was about to jab an injection needle into her pale arm.

"Stop that right now! Alice, pack your things, we're leaving."

"Bella, I can't…I…I…,"

I hugged her tightly and pulled her against my chest, planting kisses all over the silkiness of her hair.

"Miss, please let go of her, you aren't helping her with this inappropriate behavior."

I growled and he stepped back, exchanging a concerned look with Alice's mother while I quickly stuffed a few dresses and other clothes into a bag. I was so agitated that I didn't actually pay much attention to what I was packing. All I knew was that we needed to get out of here as soon as possible. Before I lost the tiny bit of courage I had left. Before Alice's father would return. Before someone would manage to kill the light in her beautiful brown eyes…

Annett started sobbing and begged her daughter to stay so that the doctor could try to cure her from her sickness but somehow I managed to pull Alice out of the house with me.

"I'm scared." she whispered nervously, taking my hand in hers while we made our way through the small forest. It was only a short walk until we would reach a small train station and from there we would go to…Crap, I didn't have any clue where we were going to go.

"I'm so scared, Bella. He's here…I saw him somewhere near here. The devil is going to find us and I don't want him to hurt you."

I squeezed her hand and rubbed my thumb over her pulse point in order to calm her down, or myself, or maybe both of us, whatever I would manage to do first.

"Nothing is going to happen to us, don't be afraid. I will protect you."

"You can't change the things that are going to happen. I saw them all and they are so frightening. Sometimes I see myself drowning and then there is always the devil…always. His eyes are red like blood…they are glowing, even in the darkness. All I can see in the darkness are his eyes. Oh Bella…,"

I pulled her against my side, searching for words that would be able to comfort her, something that would somehow manage to lessen her fear at least a tiny bit. My brain wasn't able to come up with something.

"I love you…I won't let anything happen to you, ever. We will find a way to change things. I need to find a way."

"Bella, no one can change what is supposed to happen. I'm just so glad that I found you. All of this is so much easier for me to endure because I have you by my side."


	14. Of Desire & Disaster

[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] Thanks for taking the time to read my little story here and hugs to those of you who keep leaving me such encouraging reviews.

****Of Desire & Disaster****

"Fuck, it's like that man has vanished from the surface of the earth. God damn it!" I hissed out between my teeth, my angry voice making Alice jump from the edge of the small bed she had been sitting on.

Sighing, I reached out my hand to wrap it around her wrist. Slowly I pulled her closer to me again and leaned my head forward to rest it against her chest.

"Mother says it's a sin to use God's name in anger."

"I'm sorry about that, Alice. It's just that we really need to find Carlisle. He can help us. I know that he can."

She sucked her bottom lip between her teeth and sat down on the bed again, starring down at her hands for several moments without speaking one single word. I was beginning to think she was having another of her visions but then she cleared her throat nervously.

"Why is this Carlisle so important? You seem so desperate to find him." Her voice came out sharp like a knife. Jeez, she wasn't going to be jealous of her own father—well, adoptive father hopefully one day, hopefully one soon to come day…

"He's Edward's father. I told you about Edward, don't you remember? Back home we were dating each other but…,"

"Dating?"

"Ahm…courting sort of, but I'm with you now and I will tell him that we can't go on as we did."

"But how is his father going to help you, if you consider breaking off with his son? I don't think I understand why he would even consider doing that."

She pulled a few pins out of the hair knot in her neck and a heartbeat later her curls fell down her shoulder like a curtain of dark silk. I put a wisp of it between my fingers, enjoying its soft texture against my skin. Her hair was so lovely. I didn't want to see it go…

"Carlisle is a good person. He's a doctor, much likely the best you'll ever meet. If there is anyone who could help us, it'll be him."

"What is he supposed to do? My parents have already tried all kinds of different treatments for either suppressing or ending my visions."

I considered if she was going to freak if I told her the truth about my plan that consisted of having us both changed into vampires. Maybe I would try to explain things to her tomorrow during our train ride to Chicago. Why she wanted to go there was beyond me but as long as we would manage to bring some distance between us and her parents, I was fine with whatever destination she'd choose. Telling her about Carlisle and what he was, what she was destined to become too, would scare her and Alice was already way too scared for my personal liking. Maybe she was not supposed to be a human. Maybe it was easier to live with a gift like hers when you had forever. I hoped _we_ would have a forever…

"Bella?"

I wrapped my arms around her neck and planted a tender kiss on her mouth.

"Do you trust me?"

"I wouldn't be here right now if I didn't." she whispered, opening the first three buttons of my blouse. When her fingertips brushed over my naked skin incredible warmth spread through me. The tingling in my stomach increased while her mouth pressed against my trembling lips and her tongue caressed mine in slow circles.

My hands moved down her back and up her front again until I eventually cupped both of her perky breasts through the fabric of her dress. She gasped for air against my mouth and I instantly pulled back from the kiss.

"I love you and I would never do anything you don't want. I will always give you a choice, Alice."

"Maybe I don't want a choice. Choices are for people that don't know what they want. I do. I want to be with you. I want to be close to you. I want to feel your heat beating against mine. I want…oh Bella, I don't even know what it is that I want so much. But every time we kiss…I get so…warm and…and…," her heart-shaped face reddened into the darkest shade of crimson I had ever seen on it.

"Alice?"

"Please, I can't tell you that because it's too embarrassing. It's probably not even normal to react in that kind of way…physically."

I caressed her cheekbone with my thumb, stroking down the line of her jaw and her throat. I wanted to kiss her there. I wanted to kiss every single inch of her body.

"In what kind of way are you reacting?" I asked her, rolling the fingers of my left hand over the small roundness of her bosom. Her nipple hardened under my gentle caress and when I rolled it between two fingers a low moan reached my ear.

"It feels so…good…when you touch me like this but I…I…get so…wet…down here." She pointed towards her lap, trying to avoid eye contact with me.

"Look at me, honey. It's normal that your body is reacting like this. It happens to me too."

"Honestly?"

I kissed the spot right underneath her earlobe, feeling her shudder when my breath tickled her skin for a moment.

"I would never lie to you about that. It's something that happens to every woman when she gets…aroused."

"Aroused?" That word coming over her lips sent a wave of lust straight to my core and I instantly pressed my thighs together in the desperate need of some kind of friction.

"If you get wet…it means that you desire me, Alice and I feel the same way about you."

With that I pulled her on top of me, fumbling the endless buttons at the back of her dress open with quivering fingertips. I loved her so much and I was happy that my first time was going to happen with her.


	15. Of Pleasure & Pain

[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] Welcome back, my lovely readers, and big extra thanks to those of you who left me such nice feedback on the last chapter.

****Of Pleasure & Pain****

"You are beautiful." she whispered running her fingertips gently down my collarbone until they reached the sensitive peaks of my breasts. I felt them hardening under her touch and only her mouth against mine was able to suppress the loud moan in my throat. Slowly I circled my hands over her slim hips, caressing them while I tasted the sweetness of her mouth all over my tongue.

"I love you." I murmured breathlessly when I eventually managed to break the contact of our lips for a short moment.

"I love you. I never thought it could be able to feel so much for another girl."

I leaned forward and closed my lips around one of her rosy nipples where it pebbled instantly against my tongue, tempting me to bite and nibble it lightly. She groaned and that noise sounded so very tempting from her lips that the muscles in my abdomen started to tighten. I wondered if she had ever seen this happening between the two of us and the thought sent shivers of lust down my spine, straight to my clit.

Then I felt her dainty hand stroking down my stomach and my racing heart was in my throat. Hesitantly she circled her fingers lower and lower until the tip of her forefinger brushed against the curly hair between my legs. I held my breath…

"Is this okay? I don't…I don't know how…I don't know if…,"

I silenced her with a kiss, covering her hand with my own and when our joined fingers started massaging gently between my folds I was in heaven, or at least somewhere pretty close to it. She planted open mouthed kisses all over my collarbone, suckling the skin on my throat between her lips. My skin would be covered in reddish marks afterwards but I couldn't find it in me to care too much about that. I closed my eyes while her thumb rubbed gently over the pearl of my clit. I whimpered and guided two of her fingers to my entrance where she circled them slowly up and down in my wetness before she carefully shoved them inside of me. I wanted to touch her too, needed to feel her too and so I moved my hand down her velvety abdomen, gasping for air when I felt the slick moistness against my fingers. She was so incredibly warm and wet.

Our mouth connected to another kiss while we continued caressing and exploring each other intimately. I dipped one finger about an inch inside of her and more wetness poured over my hand, her inner muscles tightened around the tip of my finger and a heartbeat later my climax made my entire body tremble all over for several moments. Every time I thought the waves of lust would finally subside, another one hit me and when they finally stopped our bodies were covered in a thin layer of pearly shimmering sweat.

"Oh Bella, I love you. I love you forever." she whispered against my ear before both of us drifted into peaceful sleep.

When we had to get up a few hours later to catch our train to Chicago, Alice seemed terribly tensed and nervous to me. She fumbled around on the knot at the back of her neck, fixing it with more and more pins until eventually not one wisp of her curls fell down her cheeks. Then she changed her dress twice, eventually deciding that she was going to wear a yellow skirt and a matching silk blouse.

I laughed because she was so vain and kissed her reddening cheekbones before I put a little daisy flower behind her ear.

"See, now you are perfect."

She nodded her head and handed me the train tickets with trembling fingertips. What was wrong with her?

"You'll take care of that. Will you? I don't feel too well right now. Can we sit down for a moment?"

I took her hand in mine, never letting go of it when she sat down on a wooden bench in front of the train station.

"Are you sure that you can travel? We can stay in the hotel for another night if you want to."

"Not a good idea. We don't have enough money for that. I will be fine, it's just…well, I'll be fine, I know, I will."

I wanted so much to kiss her sweet mouth but I didn't dare to do so in a public place like this. So instead I rubbed my thumb in small circles over her wrist until they announced our train and we had to stand up again. She helped me to lift our bags up the train and when she tried to push a rebellious curl out of her forehead the daisy fell down to the dusty ground.

Maybe she should just wear her hair down all the time. It would be way easier for her to handle it like that. Plus, I enjoyed touching its silkiness a great deal.

"Tell me you love me," she whispered nervously, her eyes flickering back and forth as if she was searching for someone in the crowd on the platform.

"Alice, what's wrong? Did you see something? Please, you have to tell me." I pleaded her, tightening the grasp around her hand.

She sighed and kneeled down to pick up the flower again.

"Maybe it's like it is meant to be. Maybe everything happens because it's supposed to happen." Her tear choked voice cracked when the last words left her mouth.

"MARY ALICE, DON'T YOU DARE TO SET ONE FOOT ON THAT GODDAMN TRAIN!"

Her father appeared out of nowhere flanked by two grimly looking man dressed all in white like paramedics or something like that. What in heaven's name was happening here?

"Stop yelling at her. She's free to go wherever it pleases her. You don't understand…,"

"I understand that my child is sick and needs help. Maybe you could need some professional help too. My wife has told me everything about your…unnatural _preferences_. Mary Alice will go where I want her to go, a place where they'll treat her sickness with the newest methods." With that he grabbed her roughly by her shoulder and tried to pull her with him.

"No! Let her go right now!"

"Alice! Say something! Anything…,"

"It's going to happen anyway. Get on the train now, Bella. I feel better when you are far from him. The devil is close, I saw him. I saw him here. Please, Bella…,"

"No, I'm not going anywhere without you."

"You have to…you have to go because you have to remember. You have to remember for both of us."

Her father and one of the men pulled Alice with her and I looked around, desperately searching for someone who could help me. My head was spinning. This wasn't actually happening. Was it?

I saw a tall figure leaning casually against a wall, covered almost completely in the shadow.

His mouth curled into a devilish grin and when his crimson eyes met mine the world around me started to blur. There were voices in the background, way too dull for me to understand them and a shrill beeping sound that hurt my ears. Then, eventually it stopped and when I blinked again I could see nothing but darkness all around me. My heartbeat quickened while turned around and around, looking for some form of light. There was none…

**XOXXOXXOXXOXXO**

[A/N] *Goes and hides somewhere* I'm pretty nervous about this chapter and I hope that you guys stay with me when we switch to the Alice POV of FBF on the next one. There will be no description of her time in the Asylum though simply because I just can't bring myself to write that. If you are into that, I'm quite sure there are enough stories out there that handle that subject...

Now, leave me some review love if you feel like it and take care.


	16. Visions of A Kiss

[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] Welcome back, my lovely readers and thanks for all your support. So, this is set right at the end of Twilight when Bella wakes up in the hospital after the James attack. Just to give you a little orientation.

****Visions of A Kiss****

„You need to stop feeling so guilty all the time, Alice. I can't endure it any longer. What happened with Bella was nothing that you could have seen coming and Carlisle says her leg will…,"

"Will heal out completely, I know. She's going to have to wear that cast on our prom though. Do you know any dresses that will look good to something like that? No? Fine, so do I and I really want her to look pretty."

"You are pretty."

He hugs me tightly and kisses my neck, circling his fingers down my collarbone.

"I'm not in the mood for that right now, Jazz. I need to concentrate and my head is hurting because our brother is making stupid decisions about leaving Bella and talking the coven into moving to Alaska again."

"Maybe it's not a stupid decision. Hanging out with vampires is not exactly safe for humans."

"I guess that depends on the vampire." I state cheerfully turning around to plant a quick kiss on his smiling lips.

He tightens the grip around my waist and pushes me against the book shelf behind us, making several books fall out of it.

"Are the two of you determined to destroy this hotel? Try to act more human how often will I have to tell you that?"

Oh I see Edward is in an excellent mood today. Bella finally woke up from her unconsciousness this morning and you should think that would make him feel better. Instead he seems way more pissed than during the entire week we've spent here in Phoenix. Staying here is difficult for all of us because it's so very sunny that we can't go out at all during the day time and it's not going to rain for at least another month. I can't wait to return back to good old foggy Forks.

Didn't she wake up? I ask him in my head and his face turns into a tortured frown.

"She did but she seems…I don't know, just different somehow. Maybe now she's truly realized how dangerous we are. Maybe it would be best if we all left so that she can have a…,"

"We are not going to leave her behind. I've already seen her like us. She will be like us. It's going to happen."

"You only see what you want to see, Alice." He told me reproachfully, running his fingers through his tousled hair.

"Oh do I?" I show him an image of Rosalie and Emmett getting on it on the kitchen counter back home. I know sure as hell he won't like that vision too much and so do I. The thought of watching other people fuck is not such a turn on for me.

He shakes his head and a small smile appears on his mouth.

"You would tell me if you'd seen her deciding on breaking up with me?"

"Of course, I would. She _will_ be like us and she'll be with us. How often will I have to tell you that?"

"She wants to see you—alone."

"Fine, I'm going to hunt and then I'll visit her in the hospital."

When I enter her room two hours later she looks not much different from when visited her two days ago. Her leg is still in that awful cast and her face is white like chalk. Her eyes are open though and they look sad, so incredibly sad. My poor Bella…

"How's my favorite human friend doing?"

"You have human friends apart from me?"

"No, I don't but I could if I wished so. How are you feeling?"

"Exhausted somehow, I feel like sleeping and crying."

"That's probably from the drugs they are giving you. Did Edward tell you what happened to that creeper James? Ripped into pieces and burned to grey ashes."

She took a deep breath and I could hear her heart beginning to pound in her chest. Was that a side effect from the medication?

"He knew you."

"Who?"

"James, of course, he knew you from back when you were human."

"James? So, is he the one who changed me? What exactly did he tell you?"

She hesitated for a moment before she continued.

"I don't know if I should tell you about that. It's not a very nice story."

"It's still mine." I whisper, hopefully loud enough for her to understand it.

"He said you were in some sort of…Asylum and that one of the guardians there was a vampire who changed you before he could get to you."

She starts crying and I hug her carefully, caressing her tangled hair with my fingertips. She's so terribly tensed.

"Don't feel sad for me. Whatever happened back then was a long time ago. What counts is now, what counts is what is going to be."

"Oh Alice! I'm so, so very sorry about everything."

"You don't have to be. Look, I don't remember anything of the time in that Asylum. This existence as a vampire is all I know. It's all who I am."

"But you have to remember at least something!"

"What for? Like I already told you—it's just the past not more or less. Don't waste your tears crying over things no one can change anymore."

She sniffed again and I pulled her a little closer against me, pressing my mouth against her hair. God, she did smell good. No wonder James wanted to have her, the scent was so intoxicating. I swallowed the venom that instantly floated back and in the same moment a vision rushed through my mind.

I could see her raising her head and touching her lips, not to my cheek but directly to my own mouth. It was just a split second because a heartbeat later she decided of remaining unmoved in my arms, just like she was.

Hesitantly I circled my fingertip over my lower lip while I wondered how it would actually feel like to kiss her mouth.

I bet it would be all warm and soft…

**XOXXOXXOXXOXO**

[A/N] I hoped you liked the first peak into vampire Alice's head.

Also, check out my new story called **American Candy**. It's an AH/Bellice, because there can never be enough of this pairing.


	17. Visions of A Flower

[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

****Visions of A Flower****

I crumble the tiny petals of the daisy between my fingers, turning it to fine white powder that shimmers against my already pale skin. Those are my favorite flowers and I don't even know why. Rose says they are weeds but I think them pretty. My very first vision is that of a daisy between my hands. I like the smell too, not as overwhelming as roses and lilies.

Maybe I like them because they are small like me.

My head is hurting and I prepare myself mentally for the inevitable awful discussion that is going to happen out here once the boys show up here. I had left Phoenix right after I had visited Bella, straight heading home because I knew that neither my brother nor my husband would approve of the thoughts and emotions that were running through me

I had thought about kissing her. I had liked it in my thoughts. I would probably like it even more in reality. Damn it, Alice, stop thinking about that. Do it. Do it right now.

"You are tensed today." Jasper stats, wrapping his arms around me while his lips press gently against my hair. He sniffs for a moment and pulls back immediately.

"And you smell too much like human for my taste. Why is her scent on you?"

I sigh and lean back against the oak tree behind me, taking another daisy between my hands. I tell him, I tell him not, I tell him a little…Yeah, maybe I'll go with that.

"She cried and I held her until she fell asleep."

"I see and now her depressed mood is kind of reflecting on you."

"Maybe,"

I think of the vision again and my lips feel warmer for a split second. Then Jasper kisses my mouth and they are cold again. Ice makes ice colder. What a strange way to think about it. I wonder if kissing Bella would still feel different from kissing Jazz once she's been changed. Crap, I'm officially a mental cheater now. How horrible is this?

"Are you crazy?"

His voice is sharp like a knife and I know that he's both angry and irritated at the same moment. I know that without being able to read his emotions but Jasper next to me grabs my hand tightly in his when he senses the aggressiveness in Edward.

"Hi, to you too, is something bothering you?"

"Why don't you ask HER?"

He turns to me and the wave of guilt that rushes through me makes me feel so miserable. Jeez, it was just a thought. Just one thought…

"Alice, darlin', tell me what is wrong. Did you see something that HE doesn't like?"

I rub my temples and stand up from the ground, letting go of Jasper's hand. There is suddenly calmness in me and I know he's trying to make me feel better. The thing is I don't feel like I deserve to feel better right now.

"You could be right about that." Edward growls angrily, crossing the arms in front of his chest.

"Can we just pretend I didn't have that thought?" I start a lame attempt on ending this conversation before it gets ugly. I've already seen how ugly and I don't want that. But what's meant to happen is going to happen anyway.

"Over my grey ashes,"

"I didn't have that vision on purpose!"

"Your visions are just as selfish as you are. Kissing her on the mouth? Are you not right in your head to have thoughts like that?"

Jasper's eyes meet mine and narrow for a moment before his lips curl into a crooked smile. He's trying hard not to laugh and his reaction is making Edward even more furious than he already is.

"So, you thought about kissing the little human? And did you like it? I never assumed you had tendencies in both directions."

"It doesn't matter if I liked it and I have no tendencies whatever in that direction. I'm with you. I love you."

"But you still have these emotions for her. You care about her. You are excited when you see her and it's a bit too much."

"I'm sorry about that."

"No, you're not."

"He's right. And just for the record I want you to stay away from Bella from now on."

I drop the flower to the ground and kneel down to pick it up again. Somewhere in the distance I can hear the sounds of a train and for a split second fear rushes through me. It's gone as fast as it came and I clear my throat before I speak up.

"I'm going to see Bella as often as I wish to. You can't keep me away from her."

"Alice, darlin', maybe Edward is right about this. Trying to get some distance between the two of you is probably a good idea. You care too much for her."

I wonder how it is possible to care too much for someone but anyway. I want to see Bella and I won't let Jasper and Edward ruin that for me. She's my very first friend apart from my family and although I heart my blonde sister a lot, it still doesn't come close to how I feel towards Bella. She's important to me and I'm important for her. She needs me to protect her.

"We've already seen how well that works."

"Edward, stop talking to her like that. It makes her feel guilty."

A growl leaves my throat and before I can think about my action my fist connects with the tree behind me and it falls down to the ground. Crap, I think Esme really like that one lots…

"Alice, calm down. You're overreacting here completely. It's just some human girl. You shouldn't care so much whether you'll see her or not."

"Listen, both of you. I don't need someone to tell me what to do or what to feel. I'm sorry when you don't like my emotions for Bella, Jazz. Oh, and I didn't mean to offend you with my thoughts about kissing your girlfriend."


	18. Visions of A Shower

[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

****Visions of A Shower****

I'm still slighty pissed at Edward and Jasper when I enter Bella's house. Her father is a darling though and makes me laugh. The thought that he likes me way better than his daughter's boyfriend is flattering somehow. Maybe I should help him find a new wife. Charlie is going to need someone to keep his company when Bella suddenly disappears again.

She still looks bad when I sit down on the edge of her bed. There is this incredible halo of sadness and I wonder if that's probably just Jazz's emphatic ability that is rubbing off on me.

"You don't look too good to me."

"Is Edward coming here soon to visit me?"

He'll be here the entire night watching you sleep like some creepy stalker. I wonder what kind of kick it gives him to stare at her while she's unconscious. It's obvious from my visions that he's not going to start an attempt on seducing her. So, why does he need to lurk around here every night?

"Yeah, later," I mutter, taking the purple fabric of her blanket between my fingers.

"I'm glad you are here. I missed you."

"Edward didn't want me to come here though,"

Crap, did I say that out loud?

"WHY?" her voice sounds suddenly way too shrill in my ears and a vision of her yelling at Edward for keeping me away from her enters my mind. The pissed off look on his face makes me grin again. She WANTS to see me, didn't I tell you, smart ass?

"Well…,"

"Alice, you promised to tell me the truth…always."

"I know. Look, when I visited you in the hospital I had a vision, a vision about me and you."

Her face pales and I hope that she won't break the thin layer of skin on her lower lip. If she starts bleeding there it would be just too tempting to run my tongue over it and once I would taste the first tiny drop of it, everything would be lost. My self-control is pretty good but it still has its limits.

"You thought about kissing me," I whisper and when my eyes meet hers again her face darkens into the brightest crimson under the sun. I instantly hold my breath. The scent of her blood is so much more permanent when she blushes.

"I'm sorry about it."

"Don't have to be. It's not a big deal. I feel honored that you considered kissing me and not Rosalie, although she's a pretty good kisser. I have to give her credit for that."

"You kissed Rosalie?"

"Just once, it was a bet between me and Emmett. I won, of course."

I pull the blankets from her and wrap my arms carefully around her shoulder and her middle.

"I'm here to help you take a shower. You still smell of that awful hospital. It's covering your natural scent and I don't like that."

"I can shower on my own."

"No, you can't. You'll fall down and hurt yourself when you try to balance on one leg. Let me help you. It's not a big deal."

She still seems to hesitate and that is irritating me somehow. Were humans a bit prudish? No, that can't be. Edward is a vampire and the most prudish person I have met.

Finally she tries to stand up from the bed and almost lands backwards on her ass again. See, I told you it would be necessary for someone to help you.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Anything you want to, Bella."

"Do you love Jasper a lot? I mean are you really happy with him."

What a weird question…

"Most of the time yes, when he's not being a jerk. I'm glad to have him in my life. I'm pretty weird, I know, even for a vampire and he can handle that. I love that he can make me smile when I don't feel like smiling. Sometimes it's hard to see things…,"

"I don't think you are weird. But I'm still happy that you are happy with him."

Her voice sounds almost lifeless when she says that. What in heaven's name is wrong with her? Well, maybe she's just tired. When we are done with the shower she can sleep.

A few minutes later we are inside the tiny bathroom—no wonder Charlie doesn't manage to find a wife. What kind of woman is willing to deal with this lack of room for beauty utensils?

Bella pulls her shirt up and throws it carelessly into a corner before she steps into the shower. Do humans shower with their underwear on? Jeez, what kind of nonsense is that supposed to be.

I lean forward and open the clasp of her bra, feeling her tremble against my fingers. Is that because my skin is so cold?

"Try to relax a bit. This is not going to hurt."

With my left hand I turn on the shower above her and rub some of her strawberry shampoo into the length of her hair just to rinse it off a few minutes later.

"Is the water warm enough for you?" I ask her, squeezing some body wash on a washcloth before I move it gently over her shoulder and down her arms. Her skin is so warm and soft. Do all humans feel like that?

"You have beautiful breasts. I like them a great deal." I compliment her; Rose always like it, when you tell her nice things about her body, and I really want Bella to feel more comfortable now. She's so tensed and nervous.

"Alice, please…,"

She turns her head in a very lame attempt to hide her blush from me. Doesn't she know that I can still smell it? In the same moment I inhale the steamy air filled with soaps and the flowery aroma of her blood another vision rushes through my mind.

Her mouth on mine and my tongue inside that warmth of it while my hands glide all over her wet body. She trembles when I touch her breasts and it has nothing to do with the temperature of my hands. I moan and drop the washcloth in my hands…


	19. Visions of A Fire

[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer.

****Visions of Fire****

I wonder if I should probably spend the next nights in a hotel because the guilt that washes over me when I park the car in the garage is not something that I enjoy too much. Apart from that I'm still slightly turned on whether I want to admit that or not. The vision of making out with Bella was hot somehow. I just wished…,

"Now, you're losing it completely." Edward snarls at me when I enter the living room. Crap, now he's really pissed at me.

"What did she see?" Emmett asks, keeping his eyes focused on the videogame on our flat screen.

"Nothing that's your business,"

"Oh, someone is pissed. I bet that means the vision was quite interesting."

I sit down next to Emmett and whisper lowly.

"I didn't do it on purpose. You know that I can't control what I see."

"Then you'll learn to control it! I don't like reading thoughts in your head that involve you and MY girlfriend kissing and doing whatever kind of perverted…,"

I try to control my vision the day you control the way you are snooping around in other people's head.

"That's not the same."

Jasper enters the room, wiping a tiny rest of blood from his chin. His eyes are pitch-black although he just went out hunting. Great, now he's angry at me too.

"I don't like you talking to Alice like that."

"I don't like her thinking of Bella like THAT."

"I don't…,"

"Alice, I can feel what you feel and you're…kind of turned on at the moment."

I growl and rip one of the pillows on the couch apart. Esme is going to re-decorate this room anyway next month, so who cares?

"I don't need you to tell me how I feel. It doesn't mean anything."

"Alice, I don't have some freaky ability like these two morons but I noticed that you had it bad for the little human on the first day she came here."

"Emmett, please…I'm not…I can't be…this is not supposed to happen. I didn't…,"

He laughs and Jasper tries to punch him against his ribcage. I decide that I can't endure this anymore and walk up to my room to pack a few things together.

I'm just about to sit down on my suitcase in order to close it when Rosalie rushes in and sits down on the ground next to me.

"What is all of this supposed to mean?"

"I need some time off."

"I mean the fact that Mind-Snoop and Emo-Snoop are both angry at you because of Bella. You think about kissing her? Seriously?"

I close the zipper of the suitcase and sigh deeply, cupping my face in both of my hands.

"I didn't have the kiss vision and the other one on purpose."

"I know, Alice." She whispers, wrapping her arm around my shoulder. Her fingertips circle up and down my neck and I wonder if there is anyone else on earth that's as good at comforting people as Rose.

"The problem is not that you have the visions about Bella. The problem is that you keep thinking about them afterwards. The thought of kissing and doing whatever to her is appealing to you."

"I don't know what's wrong with me. I hate when Jasper is angry with me."

"He'll come around."

"And if he doesn't?"

"We'll worry about that when the time comes. Now, tell me, are you in love with Bella like Edward?"

"No, of course not,"

"But you like her."

"Yes, I do. That doesn't mean I'm in love with her. Don't you think I would know the difference?"

"I'm not that sure about that, Alice."

"Oh come on, Rosie. I'm not gay."

"Maybe you are bi. Do you remember how you kissed me?"

"That was twenty years ago and just a joke. I like Bella, I like her a lot but I don't LIKE her."

"You like her more than me."

"No, I just like her different. She's important to me. If James would have killed her, I…I don't know what I had done then."

"You care about her and you want to protect her. I just don't understand why it had to be her. She's a human and her knowing about our existence is dangerous. What if Victoria runs off to the Volturi and tells them that we spilled the secret? I don't want them to come here."

"Like Aro would ever listen to some scum like her." I whisper, rubbing my temples with my fingertips. My head is always hurting in the last time and Carlisle insists there is nothing he can give me. Normal vampires don't get headaches. I wonder if I at least was a normal human…

"I wouldn't want to find out. Have you seen her again in one of your visions? Victoria, I mean, not Bella."

"There was only that one vision I told you about, the one where she decided to hunt that College boy in Seattle. After that her fire-head hasn't popped up again in my visions. It's like she's hiding."

"She understands how your visions work and maybe she's avoiding it to make a decision."

Victoria is not the only one who's avoiding it to make up her mind, I think bitterly. What is wrong with me? I love Jasper. I am happy with him. It took me years to find him after I had that vision of him.

He needs you.

Bella needs you more.

And in the very moment I think that sentence Victoria's head appears in my mind. She grins and her pearly white tears reflect in the light of a street lamp. Then she wipes the blood from her chin and stands up from the ground. It is then I see Bella's lifeless body on the ground. She whimpers and I kneel down next to her, taking her hand in mine to check her pulse. It's still there but not very strong.

Slowly she tries to raise her head from my lap and it's not working properly because she's so weak.

"Alice…oh, Alice…I love you so much."


	20. Visions of A Name

[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

****Visions of Names****

His voice is hard when he speaks up after taking a deep breath through his parted lips. I know he doesn't like the things he's seeing in my head but I have no power over them. What I know is that I'm going to protect her as long as her heart is beating and maybe even afterwards. I have told the entire coven about Victoria and Edward is beyond furious because I couldn't manage to keep the last part of the vision a secret.

So, she does love me. What are you supposed to do against it? I ask him in my mind.

"You'll stay away from her." Edward growls, the caramel in his eyes turning to black coal.

"Try to make me." I snarl back, opening the front door of our house. Outside the air is filled with the aroma of upcoming rain and somewhere far in the distance I can hear thunder roaring. I will go and see her now, whether Edward likes the thought or not. I have to see her.

"Alice, I want you to stay here. " Jasper stats, placing his arms around my shoulder before he gently blows a kiss on my ear.

"You are so terribly tensed. Let me make you feel better. Let me make you forget your worries."

I turn around and before I can think twice about what I'm doing I slap him right across the face. Anger spreads through me and although it's gone about a heartbeat later, I still know that it's there.

"Don't ever dare to mess with my emotions. You may not like them but they are still mine."

"I'm just trying to help you. Bella is a human, she's not like us and even Edward as her boyfriend is able to grasp this fact. If Victoria is after her we can try to protect her but telling her about what you have seen is stupid. It would make her freak."

"Good bye, Jasper."

"Alice, please…,"

Guilt washes over me but when I run through the forest and bring some distance between me and him it vanishes almost completely.

I climb up the tree in her front yard and with a jump through her opened window I land gracefully in her room.

She doesn't wake up and so I sit down on the edge of her bed, running my fingertip down her forehead and over her nose until she yawns and wrinkles her face a bit.

"Alice?"

"Can you wake up for me, Bella?"

"Why are you here?" she whispers and somehow her voice sounds sadder to me than tired. I wonder what's the reason behind that? Doesn't she want me here?

"I had a vision about Victoria showing up and hurting you. Edward said it's not necessary to tell you because with all six of us protecting you there isn't the slightest bit of a chance she'll get through to you."

"I'm still glad you told me. I'm not as weak as he thinks I am."

"I know." I whisper, taking her hand in mine. It's so warm and I like how her pulse quickens when I circle my thumb over her wrist. I can feel the scars that James teeth have left on her breakable human skin and take a deep breathe.

"There is something else I saw but I don't know if I should tell you about that."

"Please, Alice..,"

"You told me you loved me."

"Oh Alice, you have to forget about that."

"So, is it not true? Because I do love you a lot."

"Like a sister, I know. Please, Alice, just go now and leave me alone."

She starts crying and I stand up from the bed, just to kneel down next to it a moment later. My hands cup her face and gently as if she could break, I wipe the tears from her chin.

"I hate to see you cry. I hate to see you unhappy."

"I told you to leave!"

"Tell me you don't want me here. Tell me that you don't love me and I'm off here."

"Oh Alice, if you knew…if you could just remember…even if it was for one single minute you'd understand."

"Bella, you're not making any sense to me. Nothing makes any sense to me anymore since we returned from Phoenix and my own emotions are starting to irritate me. Tell me what is wrong. I want to understa…"

She leans forward and as light as a feather her mouth brushes gently against mine. I stiffen but her lips on mine feel good. They are so incredibly soft and I run the tip of my tongue over it to feel some more. With a low moan her lips part, giving me the first chance on tasting the sweetness of her mouth. I smell her blood that is racing through her veins and her heart beating frantically against my chest and for the first time ever I get a glimpse on how it must feel like to be alive.

"I love you, Alice and it's not the love of a sister I have for you. I tried so hard to ignore it but I can't."

I caress her hair while she rests her head in my lap and while I move my fingertips through the wisps of brown and mahogany shades the vision enters my mind. It's weird because everything seems blurred somehow but then I see how Bella scrawls down something on a sheet of paper. Her mouth curls into a smile when she hands it to me and I can see myself starring down at it.

"That's who you were." she whispers into my ear while the fingers of her left hand stay wrapped around my waist.

Who I was?

Then I see the three words she has written down on the paper and while I read them my head starts spinning and eventually I tumble into a spiral of darkness while the tiny letters keep flashing up in front of my eyes over and over again.

_Mary_

_Alice_

_Brandon_


	21. Visions of Mates

[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

****Visions of Mates****

I don't think I understand," I whisper nervously while Bella's face looks as if she's about to start crying any moment.

"How do you know what my human name was? Is that something that James told you about me?"

She reaches out her hand and when her warm fingers close around my wrist I feel their heat radiating through my entire body. Is this how it feels like to be alive?

"I can't explain to you what happened with me. I don't understand it. I don't understand how a dream can be so realistic. I don't…I don't…,"

Her voice turns into a desperate sobbing and as gently as I can I pull her against my chest. My fingertips move down the small of her back in slow circles while I feel the warm wetness of her tears soaking through the fabric of my shirt.

"Oh Bella, please stop crying. Everything is going to be okay."

"No, it's not! I should have found a way to protect you better. They put you in this horrible Asylum. They left you alone in the darkness although you were so scared of it. I'm so very sorry, so very sorry."

_Asylum?_

_Darkness?_

How in heaven's name should Bella be able to protect me? The thought itself seems so weird to me. I wonder if she's about to have a panic attack or if this is probable a result of all the pain medication they had given her back in the hospital in Phoenix. Whatever it is, it's confusing me far more than anything else I have experienced before in my life.

"Mary Alice Brandon. Your human name was Mary Alice Brandon, but you liked that I called you Alice, just Alice."

"Mary Alice Brandon." I murmur, trying to bring some connection between the words and my extinguished human memories. There is none. She could have told me that my name used to be Katharine Miller and it wouldn't have made any sort of difference for me. I can't imagine myself as a human, it's impossible. Being a vampire is all I know, all I understand. Maybe that's why I suck so horribly at acting human.

"Do you think I'm crazy?" she whispers after a few moments of awkward silence filled with nothing but her breathing and the frantically beating of her heart in her chest. I try not to concentrate too much on it because visualizing how her sweet blood gets pumped through her veins is too tempting in a forbidden way.

"Alice?"

"I see the future in my head. That probably makes me the last person on earth who has a right to call anyone crazy."

I plant a kiss on her hair and inhale its scent that is barely noticeable under the strawberry perfumed shampoo she's using.

"You have to tell me everything you know. Everything you've seen."

"I don't know where to start."

"Well, you told me what my human name was. That's a start."

She frees herself out of my embrace and tries to stand up from the bed, almost stumbling over her wastepaper basket before she leans back against the wooden desk on the other side of the room.

"You lived in Mississippi with you parents and your little sister Cynthia."

"Was I pretty?"

The words are out of my mouth before I can think and I wonder why of all the things I could have asked her about my humanity, this is the first one. It sounds way more like something that Rosalie would have liked to know than me. But of course, Rosalie knows exactly how her face used to look like when she was a human.

"Yes, you were, a lot actually." She whispers and there is somehow a longing tone in her voice that I don't understand. Did she like me better when I was human?

"I liked your hair…and your eyes…and most of all your lips."

When she says the last part she cups my face in her right hand and circles the fingertip of her forefinger over my lower lip.

"It still looks the same but it feels so different."

Slowly I lean forward and kiss her mouth, feeling her already hectically heartbeat increasing even more. I can hear her blood rushing through her breakable skin and combined with her velvety smooth lips against my own it's the most amazing sensation of desire that ever happened to me. Kissing Jasper doesn't even come close to how this is like. Maybe because he doesn't smell as temptingly delicious as she does.

Eventually she pulls back, panting and gasping for air. Did she forget to breathe? Do humans tend to forget to breathe during a kiss or is that just another sign of Bella's clumsiness?

"We can't do that anymore. It's wrong. I'm with Edward and you are with Jasper."

I don't really like that she's mentioning the guys right now. Whatever is happening between me and her, it has nothing to do with them. This is just between me and her.

But what is between me and her? I love Jasper so much. He's my mate. He's the first vision of another person that I had when I woke up after the transformation and it took me so incredibly long to find him.

She starts crying again and I taste the salt of her tears when I press my lips tenderly on hers again. I don't want her to be sad. It makes me sad and because Jasper usually helps to keep me from enduring that sort of negative emotions it hits me with its entire force.

"I don't want us to stop, Bella. You mean so much to me, maybe even more than I have words for it."

"When you kiss me, can't you remember? Can't I make you remember, just one tiny bit?"

I take a small curl of her hair between my fingers, admiring how the copper shades of it reflect under the light of her lamp.

"I don't need to remember to know that you are special to me."


	22. Visions of A Journey

[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] Another FBF update for you, my lovely readers and I hope you'll like it. Special thanks to _**Nenarae**_. Your lovely review really motivated me a lot.

This fandom is based on a story about vampires that sparkle in the sunlight. So, a little bit of time travelling shouldn't be too hard to image, should it?

See you at the bottom.

****Visions of A Journey****

Jasper is already sitting on the front porch of the house when I return home in the early dawn of the morning. My lips still taste of her sweet, warm mouth, and I can't stop running my tongue over it, savoring the faint hint of her essence that still lingers there.

This conversation is going to be awkward. I know how he's going to react and he knows what I feel. It's because of the second that he's going to react like he will.

"Morning, Darlin'." He greets me as I sit down next to him and place my hand gently on his shoulder.

"Have you waited long for me to come back?"

A smile flashes over his handsome face but it only stays there for about a split second.

"It seems like the two of us are always waiting for each other, isn't that strange somehow?"

"Maybe a bit," I whisper, putting a curl of his honey blonde hair behind his ear. My heart hurts because I love him. I love him, I always will but it's not enough.

"I don't know what to say."

"Do you need some help from me putting a name to the emotions that are radiating from you right now?" he asks, unable to suppress the bitterness in his voice. He's bitter and sad. I know he'd be.

"I'm sorry, Jazz." I whisper, playing carelessly with the delicate gold ring on my finger. We never wanted to get married. It was Carlisle's suggestion…

"You smell of her. Her scent is all over you, and I don't get how you can let her get so close to you. It's dangerous."

"No, it's not. Look, I don't know how to explain things to you. If there is a way to break this to you that hurts you less, I want to know."

He stands up from the ground, taking my hand in his to blow a soft kiss over my knuckles.

"I feel what you feel, how can I judge you for that? You've fallen in love that much is obvious."

I take the ring, but when I try to hand it back to him, he raises both hands up and shakes his head.

"Keep it."

"I'm so sorry. This wasn't supposed to happen. I'm meant to be with you."

"We were. But maybe we weren't meant to be together forever. Forever is a long time."

"I don't know what to do. I'm confused. Everything is so complicated and I feel like I'm messing around with faith."

"Faith is what you make of it. I envy Bella. She is loved so very much and that by two people, not just one."

"What are you going to do now?"

A dry chuckle leaves his mouth and for a moment I can see him digging his fingers into a hole on the ground, screaming against the dirt underneath him.

"It will pass. If there is one thing I know than it's that no kind of pain, no matter how deep it might be lasts forever."

I swallow hard and when I hug him, he presses his lips very gently against my hair.

"You smell of human. It makes me thirsty."

"Do you want to hunt?"

He nods his head and when I watch him sink his teeth into a deer a few minutes later I lean back against a rotted oak tree behind me.

"Disgusting, I will never get used to that. It's so bitter."

"I'm proud of you for sticking to it anyway."

"You sound like my Ma and that's weird, kind of."

"I bet your Ma' was a nice lady."

"She would have loved you, just like I do."

"Bella thinks she has seen me as human while she was unconscious in the hospital. Isn't that crazy?"

"It's only that you think it crazy what makes it. What did she tell you?"

I set fire to the lifeless animal on the ground before we walk back towards the house and I start packing the necessary essentials into my four huge suit leather suitcases. Edward wouldn't react halfway as understanding as Jasper had and I wasn't ready to face him now. Esme had talked him into a two day hunting trip to California and this was giving me at least some sort of head start. I had already seen myself buying the plane tickets and Bella would surely agree to joining me on this trip to my roots and hopefully our future.

"Tell Esme and Carlisle that I love them and tell Edward…no, don't tell him anything. I'll contact him once we are there."

"Alice, you don't need to run away from anything. Your feelings aren't going to vanish into nothing, if you do."

He helps me to close the last suitcase and cups my face between both of his hands.

"You know how I feel about you. That isn't going to change. You'll always be the one for me."

"I wished I could love you the same way back. You'd deserve it more than anyone else."

His lips against mine are cold and hard when he kisses me gently. The difference to her is so very obvious, but I don't want to compare them to each other. I love them both but because it's not possible to love people equally strong, I have to make this choice.

I hate hurting him. He's so much to me. Facing my life without him is scary to me.

Loading the suitcases into my car, I pull out my cell and call Bella's house. Her father picks up and him joking with me brightens up my heavy heart a bit.

"You have to do me a favor, Charlie." I purr in my sweetest voice. "I won this weekend trip to St. Louis and none of my siblings has time to go with me."

I grin at myself in the review mirror, already knowing that he's going to suggest taking Bella on the trip. He knows she's safe with me and that's what she is…

**XOXXOXXOOXOXOXXXOXXO**

[A/N] No, Bellice loving in this chapter, but I felt like the conversation with Jasper was necessary.

For those of you, who are interested in reading more of my work and are not strictly limited when it comes to the pairings you read, could check out two new one-shots I have written. It helps to grow as a writer to try out different stuff. (At least that's what I hope it does)

First one is an entry for the Age of Edward Contest.

It's called **On An Island With You** and portrays Edward as an Immigrant at the Beginning of the Twentieth century.

The other one is slash and I absolutely adore Jasper & Edward in this one. It's a bittersweet love-story and I would love for you to give it a try. It's called **Courage**.


	23. Visions of A Bite

[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

****Visions of A Bite****

Her head is resting peacefully on my lap while I park the rental car in front of the Hotel. She wakes up and a low groan escapes her lips.

"Are we there?"

"Sort of, Bella. We are in Biloxi and tomorrow morning we'll start searching for my past. It's going to be exciting."

"Do you feel different, now that we are back here?"

I lift the suitcases out of the trunk before I help her out of the car. For a split second my fingers brush against the pearly scar on her wrist and heat rushes through my entire body.

"Alice?"

"It's nothing. Look, I don't remember my past. That isn't going to change. I never felt bad about it. I mean Rosalie has a past and she sure as hell would love to forget it."

"But I need you to remember. Please, you have to try a little bit harder. For me? For us?"

"Bella, you are not making any sense to me. This trip is supposed to be fun for us. Stop with the pressuring because it's going to make things awkward."

She nods her head but her eyes look tiredly and disappointed. Maybe she needs to sleep a bit. She is drowsy from the flight and the painkillers.

We enter the Hotel and as soon as we are in our suite I lift her up and carry her over to the huge bed, laying her down.

"I will order something to eat for you before you sleep. Carlisle says humans need to eat regularly. What do you want a Club Sandwich? Steak?"

"I'm not hungry right now. Just sit with me until I fall asleep, will you?"

I nod my head and sit down next to her, pulling the blankets over her because I want to keep her warm. Her lips curl into smile as she reaches out her hand and strokes down my cheekbone.

"I miss you. I miss us. I miss us so very much."

My lips touch gently against her wrist and as soon as I feel her hot tempting blood so close, the pictures start to flash through my mind.

Her taste is so sweet and satiating, as my teeth cut through her skin to drink her and when I manage to pull back her pretty face is white like fresh snow. I lean forward and a tiny drop of her own blood pours down onto her lower lip.

I panic and within a split second my trembling body crushes against a mirror at the other side of the room.

"Alice, are you ok?"

"Yes, yes." I mumble, trying not to breathe in too deeply. Her scent is so very tempting for me right now.

Slowly, I stand up again from the ground, picking up one of the shards. I can see my eyes in it and they are pitch-black right now.

"Tell me what you saw."

Me, having you for Dinner. God, I'm such a horrible person. How can I even dare to think like that?

"You want to bite me. Don't you?"

I cannot answer her as I sat down next to her on the bed, taking her hand in mine to rub circles over her palm.

"It's okay. You said that you've seen me like you. Why don't you change me right now? I want to be like you."

"Bella, I can't. I don't have enough control. I'm not Carlisle."

She grabs the piece of broken glass from me and before I can do anything to stop her she runs it down her entire forearm. The crimson colored blood starts dripping down on the sheet.

I am irrevocably lost.

Her eyes roll back in her head as I lick off the first drops before closing my lips around the wound on her arm.

It's so delicious. Better than every vision ever could be.

I drink greedily and while the hot liquid pours over my tongue I feel so very much alive, if that's possible for a vampire.

Her heartbeats starts getting slower and eventually I manage to break the contact with her skin and pull back.

"Al…ice…oh God, it hurts so much, so much."

I wipe the rest of blood from my mouth, starring down in horror at the pale girl in front of me. What did I do? I almost killed her.

"I'm so sorry. I'm so very sorry."

"Don't be. This is meant to happen. Oh…crap it hurts so badly."

I hug her from behind and nuzzle my face against the crook of her neck.

"Not like this."

"Carlisle was supposed to give you morphine. I don't remember my transformation but the others have told me it was like getting burned from the inside."

She starts whimpering and a few moments later her body starts trembling in my arms. I don't know what to do. I don't even know how long this is going to take. Maybe I should call Carlisle, confess to him what I have done and hope he'll come here soon.

Suddenly there is darkness around me, darkness that for the very first time in my existence frightens me because I feel like I'm drowning inside of it.

There is a voice in the background, a deep, groaning voice that echoes in my ears.

"_I'm so sorry, Mary Alice. The pain will pass. It will soon be over. I promise."_

I can hear myself screaming but my voice doesn't sound like it usually does. There is so much pain inside of me, it's ripping me apart and still, no matter where I look around me, I can see nothing but darkness.

My fingertips touch something in my hands. It's a flower, just a tiny, plain daisy blossom. How can something blossom here inside this darkness?

I'm so scared, and the feeling is so overwhelming that it knocks the breath out of me. Everything is so much more real than it usually is.

That is when I realize it is not a vision.

That is when I know I'm remembering.


	24. Visions of Eyes

[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

****Visions of Eyes****

I sit next to her and watch fascinated how the steady beating of her heart slows down with every breath she's taking. The trembles have completely subsided and only the low whimpering moans remind me that the beautiful girl lying on the bed is in an unbearable torture.

Now and then Carlisle checks her pulse while the others remain frozen around us, like a group of noninvolved bystanders. I'm glad they are here though. Well, I'm glad for Emmett and Jasper because my ex is surrounding all of us in a blanket of calmness. Emmett is the only one of the coven who is almost as eager as I for Bella's transformation to be completed. Maybe it's because he's up for challenging her into testing her newborn strength against his. He is going to lose, but I don't feel the need to shove that into his face right now.

"Why is she still here?" Edward snarls at me, his voice quivering from the anger he's so desperately trying to suppress. He's talking to Carlisle, not me but it is me whose presence he can barely endure.

I understand that he's angry at me, disappointed even, hurt, for he wasn't the one who…

"I would never have done what you did. You destroyed her soul."

I roll my eyes at that and reach out my hand to caress Bella's cheekbone with my fingertip. She is not as warm as she used to be. The difference of our body temperatures is minimal now.

"She cut her arm to provoke me into biting her. There was so much blood, so very much. Anyone of you would have done the same."

"No," Jasper whispers calmly, placing his hand gently on my shoulder.

"If she had pulled a stunt like that while I was around…or Emmett…or even Edward, probably especially Edward—she'd be dead now."

"Technically she's as good as dead now." Edward stats angrily, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

"You know my thoughts and you know that her change was supposed to happen. I've seen her like us."

He snarls through his teeth and when his eyes meet mine again they are so dark that I can see my own reflection starring back at me.

"You see what you want to see, Alice. Did you change her because you think she's going to choose you over me because of it? For this is not going to happen. I won't allow for it to happen."

"Edward..,"

Carlisle's voice is soft and melodic when he speaks to his son. Edward and he share a connection that a vampire can probably only ever have with his Maker. The venom spreading through their system will forever bound them to each other.

I don't know what our father tells Edward in his thoughts but whatever it is, it somehow helps him to relax a tiny little bit more after a while.

My minds flutters back to the memory and although it is frightening me, I keep replacing the pictures in my head over and over again. If I don't do that they'll probably vanish into nothing again. It is not something I want to happen.

"Oh my God," Edward calls out and for a moment he's so surprised by what he sees in my head that he forgets how very angry he's feeling towards me right now.

"What did she see?" Jasper asks him worriedly, sending another wave of calmness through my body that for some reason doesn't seem to have the wished for effect. Maybe because we are not as close as we used to be and his power is not able to overcome this gap.

"She didn't see anything. It was…like she remembered something, something from her human life."

Carlisle grabs my hands to squeeze them so tightly that it's painful. I have often wondered if it possible for vampires to turn crazy and maybe that's what happening to me. I never remembered anything from before.

"It's so dark. I can't see anything around me and then there's the pain…I can't even describe it. I don't have words for it."

"Like being burned alive from the inside out." Jasper mumbles, taking one of my short cut curls between his long fingers.

A pair of rusty scissors appears in my head and the noises they keep making while wisp, after wisp of silky ebony hair lands on the dirty floor around me makes me shiver from head to toe.

Someone cries but the noise is somehow stiffened. There is a broken mirror and after raising my head I can see that the desperate cries are coming out of my own mouth that is covered by some sort of bandage soaked in dried brown blood.

The girl who used to be me looks lifeless, broken and so incredibly vulnerable. It is hard to see myself like that. I don't know if I can endure it. It is too much, too much pain and yet I wish to drag out every single second of it. This is my past and although it's horrible, it's still mine.

My human self is terrified and I know, without being able to remember the thoughts that I'm having a vision in that very moment.

"_Her eyes! Her eyes! Oh God, what happened to her brown eyes? They are red like blood now."_

My body is crashed against the frame of the bed as I lose my balance and a heartbeat later I find myself curled up in a ball on the floor. Jasper is next to me in a flash, trying desperately to help me to relax again.

"They cut my hair off." I whisper. "My hair used to be so very beautiful. Why did they have to cut it off?"

Edward's face resembles a tortured mask when he kneels down next to me. His thumb brushes over my cheekbone a split second before Jasper shoves it roughly away.

"You saw her. You saw Bella as a new born vampire while you were still human."


	25. Visions of Desires

[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] Cough, cough…I'm so sick & full with cold medicine. Don't feel like ever leaving my bed again.

I have a certain way how I imagine Alice's mind to work like and that's very different from that of a human. She's able to focus on several things at the same time, the present, her visions & the flashbacks of memories. Sorry for all the confusion this is causing…

****Visions of Desires****

I am unable to turn my eyes away from her, even if it's just for a tiny split second. It's like I'm secretly afraid to miss any details of the things she's seeing completely new for the first time.

She slurps a bit when her teeth break the skin of the deer in front of her and immediately pulls back as soon as she tastes the awful bitterness of the animal's blood on her tongue.

"You'll get used to it." I whisper, taking two steps closer to her. Her beauty is so beyond words that I'm finding it hard to believe that I ever thought her pretty while she was still human.

Her skin is a perfect ivory color that looks lovely with the silken curls of her mahogany hair and the soft rosy of her lips, now tinted a bit from her first meal as a vampire look so temptingly inviting.

I want to kiss her, taste her and so, very slowly I lean forward, cupping her face in my right hand. Her cheek has exactly the same temperature as my fingertips as I circle them gently down her jawline.

"I'm so glad you are here with me."

Me too, I think pulling her closer to me. When my lips touch tenderly against hers I feel her shiver a bit against my mouth.

_I'm never going to know how it feels like to get kissed. Who would want to have me anyway? I'm too weird._

Abruptly, I pull back and when I blink into her now ruby-like iris my face reflects in them. The picture is tiny and blurred. A mixture somehow of the tortured human girl I used to be once and the person I know from looking in a mirror.

In her eyes, in the gorgeous eyes of this new born vampire they are both melting into one.

"My first kiss was with you." I mumble, moving my thumb over her lower lip, wiping off a tiny drop of dried blood from its left corner.

"Do you remember? Please, say you remember."

I shake my head and the sadness that instantly appears on her face hurts me deeply. It's nothing I can endure, it's too painful. She's disappointed in me, I can feel it.

"I see some things but the memories are blurred, as if I'm trying to look at them through a veil that I can't lift."

She leans her hand against a tree next to us and a moment later it crashes down to the ground.

"Did I do that?" she asks me, the surprise in her voice clearly audible. I love the fact that I'm with her experiencing all this together with her.

"You'll get used to your new strengths. Look, it's not that difficult."

I kneel down and pick a little violet flower up from the ground. In a few weeks she'll be ready to go near humans again, at least for a short period of time. I have seen how her eyes had been a very similar shade to that of the violet. Blue contacts would hide the traitorous crimson until her iris would eventually turn to the warm, melted honey shade that the rest of our coven had.

As we walk through the beginning darkness of the wood, she takes my hand into hers and although her grip around my fingers is a bit too strong, I can still feel how she's trying to be careful.

"Is your throat still hurting very much?"

"Yes, but I don't want to drink any more of these reeking animals. None of you ever told me your repulsive they smell and taste."

I kiss her nose as she wrinkles it in disgust before I clear my throat.

"You need to drink it. You need to drink as much as you can. After a while you'll get used to it to a certain extent. It's this or you'll start hunting humans. They taste a great deal better but the bitter aftertaste it leaves on your soul when they die on you…I don't feel like that's so much better from feeding on animals."

She nods her head and sits down on the ground, circling her fingertips over the grass as if it were some precious silk.

"I always thought grass was just a plain green but now I know that there are so many different shades of it. I don't even have names to all of them."

I sit down next to her. I know that I need to be patient with her. Newborns get distracted by almost everything.

"Look, there's a butterfly."

"Bella, we need to go back. The others will start worrying that I lost you and then hell will break…,"

"Just a little while, come and sit with me. I love watching your face. It's so very beautiful, now that I can see it as a vampire."

She circles the tip of her forefinger over my eyebrow, down the bridge of my nose and eventually over my upper lip.

A wave of lust spreads through my entire body and I swallow back a bit of venom that instantly starts to float in my mouth.

I want her so very much and while I watch how her eyes turn into black pearls the intoxicating scent of her arousal works like some sort of aphrodisiac for me.

"Your first kiss wasn't the only first you shared with me," she whispers, her voice thick and husky with lust.

Her hands move up my ribcage and when she carefully cups my breasts through the fabric of my shirt the muscles deep down inside my belly start to tighten.

The sensations that start building within me are different from than those I'm used to and still…they don't seem new to me.

My mind is suddenly overflown with pictures of us and I'm unable to point out if they are a vision of what is going to happen between or a faint memory of what used to be.

Right now, I feel like it doesn't matter as long as she's here in my arms…


	26. Visions of Water

[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

****Visions of Water****

Her hands glide under my shirt and I moan into her mouth that still feels warm from the blood of the deer she has fed on a few minutes ago. On the tip of my tongue its bitterness melts together with her natural sweetness and the delicious combination of both makes me groan against her velvety lips.

She pulls me down on the leaf covered forest floor and the feeling of her hips pressing against mine while she slowly moves up and down is so divine. Both of us are panting and the musky scent that floats up my nostrils makes every single cell in my body tingle with unknown anticipation.

I kiss her greedily while she continues massaging my breasts, pulling and squeezing my pebbled nipples until I feel the dampness between my thighs soaking through the lace thong of my underwear. Never before have I been this wet before and she hasn't even started touching me intimately.

A whimper escapes my throat as she sucks the skin on my collarbone between her sharp front teeth. The venom burns in the wound and I'm sure it's going to leave a permanent scar on my body.

Not that I mind it at all; she's my mate and I'm going to carry any scars she's going to give me with pride.

When I manage to pull the fabric of her shirt over her head and lean forward to close my lips gently around one rosy tip, she moans against the spikey curls of my hair.

She is all around me, consuming me completely with her scent, her touch and the way her new vampire body feels like against my hands when I explore its secrets.

I want to know each single one of them. The sky above us has turned from orange to a darkly purple and my mind is unable to focus on anything else apart from the instinct to touch and lick her pearly white skin.

Eventually she starts kissing her way down my upper body, placing another bite on the edge of my left hipbone, sealing the crescent wound instantly with the tip of her tongue. She's acting only on her instincts and I love to be the one she's experiencing this with.

The air feels warm against my slick folds when she shoves my jeans down my thighs to caress the inside of them very gently.

My clit is throbbing against my inner lips, hungrily, greedily for her touch and when she swirls her flat tongue around and around it, circling it up and down from my clit to my entrance and back up again, I'm flying.

I'm somewhere between earth and heaven, not willing to ever return to the first one. She slurps and swallows thirstily as she starts lapping on the essence that keeps pouring down my inner thighs.

Bella suckles the tiny nub of my clit between her lips to nibble it and the little pearl starts pulsing like never before. I come with a loud groan of her name on my lips, my hands fisting into the tousled curls of mahogany hair while my body is overflown by the rhythmic tremors of lust that don't subside for an endless seeming moment of blissful ecstasy.

I want her to feel the same pleasure she's giving me and when I flip us around so that she's laying underneath me, her bare body covered by a few dried leaves I can't manage to keep my eyes away from her beauty.

This is way better than any vision I have ever had in my life.

My tongue swirls around in the hollow of her belly button while the intoxicating scent of her arousal makes my mouth water and I start wondering how she's going to taste like on my tongue.

Unable to hold back any longer I part her thighs, grabbing my hands into her marble flesh before I lower my head to the dip my tongue between her moist inner lips.

She's delicious…sweet like blood but slightly tart somehow at the very same moment. I lick her around her entrance, then shoving my tongue as deeply as possible into the wet tightness to savor as much of her essence as possible.

I want to bite her and mark her irrevocably as mine and while my teeth cut through the skin at the inside of her right thigh my thumb rubs small circles over the pulsing pearl of her clit while I simultaneously shove two of my fingers inside of her where her inner walls tighten around them. She groans my name over and over again while the waves of her release pulse through her body. When she eventually comes down from her frenzy-like heights I pull her against my chest, rocking her back and forth while I shower her snowy neck with open mouthed kisses.

"I love you." she whispers, cuddling against me. The full moon has risen and tinted our bodies in a darker shade of nacre. She's so beautiful right now. How adorable will it be to watch her face sparkle like a prism of rainbows when the rays of the sunlight reflect on it? Oh, I can hardly wait.

My mind, still consumed by the after waves of my lust shows me flashlights of blurry pictures.

_Myself in front of a mirror, wearing a terribly old-fashioned dress with yellow ruffles all over it…_

_A pair of ruby red eyes staring at me through the darkness around me…_

_I can hear myself scream loudly with a shrill, unfamiliar voice before a new image appears in front of me. My face is under water now, several people around me while I wait for death to come. I am drowning, the pain in my oxygen needy lungs all-consuming. This had to be the edge between life and death for me._

_In my mouth I taste the putrid water, coughing and swallowing it as my lips form a last word, the very last I'm going to speak as a human being. _

_Bella_


	27. Visions of Us

[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] So, this is the last chapter for FBF. I want to thank and hug each one of you for encouraging my little story here.

See you at the bottom.

****Visions of Us****

The grip of her arms around my shoulder tightens protectively and a deep groan escapes her throat as Edward starts snarling at me for taking forever to come back from our hunting trip.

He's still unable to read her thoughts and him and the rest of the coven consider this an additional danger combined with the usual difficulties training a newborn always brings.

"The two of you shouldn't have stayed outside there all by yourselves." Carlisle stats calmly, fisting the blond curls of his hair through his fingers.

"A newborn vampire is not an easy thing to control."

"I'm not a _thing_ that needs to be controlled. I feel good. Please, stop worrying about me. I'm fine. For the first time ever I feel normal. It's like I was born to be a vampire."

She sits down on the edge of the couch, pulling me on her lap and I sigh deeply when her nose tickles the bare skin on my neck very gently.

Then she turns her attention to Edward again who is leaning against the wall, his arms crossed in front of his chest. I can see him driving the Vanquish up to the Alaska residence of our extended family but as soon as he remembers Tanya's quite persistent attempts on seducing him, he changes his mind so abruptly that a sharp pain throbs through my forehead.

"You don't exactly like strawberry blonde hair, do you?" I ask him teasingly in my head and he instantly nods.

Bella starts rubbing her throat and whimpers a bit. The excruciating thirst is almost unendurable during the first time after the transformation. She needs to hunt again soon and my eyes widen when Edward volunteers to go with her.

I don't like the thought at all but the thing is that we are all part of the same coven and if I want it to stay that way I need to trust him. He's still in love with Bella but now that the appealing scent of her human blood is gone, his feelings for her are nothing but a faint shadow of what they were.

In front of my eyes, I see flashes of both of them sinking their teeth into the jugular of two mountain lions. She's going to like their taste way more than that of the old deer I had chosen as her first meal.

When the two of them vanish behind the house Carlisle and Esme both turn to me. They tell me everything about the official version of Bella's death the police has come up with. She's going to hate the thought that her parents think her dead but faking a car accident seemed way better to us than telling them she just run away. The human heart seems to be capable of way more pain than we give it credit for and Charlie is probably the strongest human man I have ever met.

"I remembered a bit more about my life…I mean my life before I was changed. I think that they tried to drown me or something in the asylum."

"They used to treat patients with methods like that." Carlisle explains, hesitating a moment before he continues, "Isolation…constant avoiding of Daylight…Electroshock-Therapies…all very popular treatments in Psychiatry during the beginning of the last century."

Esme takes my hand in hers to squeeze it gently. She's the best mother anyone could ever wish for. I'm so happy to have her as a part of my life.

"I'm so sorry they hurt you this much, baby girl." She whispers sadly.

I shake my head and when my lips curl into a crooked smile I know, very deep inside of me that I am not sorry. Everything happens for a reason and what's meant to be can't be stopped, ever.

"My past is a part of me but whether I'm going to remember all the details of it or not…it doesn't change who I am now. For this is what I was always meant to be."

Bella and Edward return from their hunt and I swallow back the bitter feeling of jealousy when he leans forward to pick a dried leaf out of her hair.

Don't touch her like that, I think sourly before I cup Bella's face between both of my hands and kiss her mouth passionately. The taste of the mountain lions blood is tart upon my tongue. We are definitely going to hunt more of those in the near future.

"We are upstairs." I mumble, pulling my gorgeous mate with me to our new bedroom. The headboard isn't going to have a very long life but unfortunately they don't really sell anything vampire-proof. At least the room is soundproof, so we won't have to worry about the others hearing too much of what we don't want them to hear. Sometimes Emmett and Rosalie really have the most practical ideas in this family.

Never breaking the contact of our lips I maneuver her over to the bed, enjoying the beautiful contrast of her pale marble skin against the black silk blankets.

"I'll love you for the rest of eternity." she whispers softly, caressing the palm of my hand with her fingertip while her crimson eyes never leave mine. Soon, very soon they are going to be a warm shade of honey. I can hardly wait for looking into them.

My silenced heart fills with amazingly pleasant warmth as I see all the things that are going to come for us clearly in front of my inner eye.

"You..," I tell her, my own voice trembling a bit in my ears, "You are my past…my present and everything my future is going to be."

Her velvety lips find mine again and while our tongues swirl tenderly against each other I feel like my entire self is consumed and swallowed by the love I feel for her. I wouldn't want to have it any other way.

She's mine as much as I am hers and both of us know that's how it was destined to be.

**XOXXOXOXXOXXOXXOX**

[A/N] *Wipes tear from cheek*. How much I love a HEA...

My new Bellice Project is going to be a continuation of my one-shot **Seduction of a Vampire** and will star a deliciously dark Alice who is dealing with Bella as her Newborn vampire mate.


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